Someone shared this with me a few days ago and I am feeling the need to share it with you.
With Respect,Hope,Joy and Love, Carmela
Have you ever been in a situation where you have seen someone who appears to be in need of help? Watch the video and then ask yourself how you would respond if in this situation.
The video states that when people are in a crowd it is easier to “pass the buck” and not respond if no one else is responding. When I was watching this I couldn’t believe that everyone kept walking by without making an effort to help. Even if you were not brave enough to approach the individual to offer aid there are other things you can do to help. You can tell the person you will call for assistance, if you are to afraid to talk with the person at least make a mental note of the location and make a call and have help sent.
The video reminds me of the Parable of the Good Samaritan. Maybe all we need to do in a situation such as this is to ask God to help us know what to do. Don’t simply do what others are doing. Ask God for the courage and the wisdom to help.
As the sheep look to their shepherd for guidance and safety, If we as humans, look to the Lord for guidance our hearts will be filled with the fruit of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control
Parable of the Good Samaritan Luke 10:25-37
Fruit of the Spirit Galatians 5:22-23
With respect, hope, joy and love, Carmela
Yesterday I wrote a post about a position I held years ago. Residential group homes have several individuals who need varied levels of support to assist them in leading an ordinary life in the community. The job responsibilities are usually similar to that of a mom, dad or legal guardian to a child or young adult. The abilities of the people living in the home can vary greatly. Some individuals may need assistance with physical mobility issues only and some may require supports with behavioral issues. I was taking care of a very active 6 foot man who generally had a very jovial and kind spirit. He however, had a diagnosis of explosive disorder and very short fuse when it came to hearing the word no. This seemed to trigger something inside that usually sent him running off with his pointer finger in the air making shooting sounds, pshhhhh, pshhhhh, pshhhhh. If his “traveling road show” happened to interfere with a housemate’s peace and quiet and they spoke up in a negative way things could quickly escalate into and out of control situation.
As a caregiver or parent when we are in charge of a group of individuals there are usually many times in a day when you use the word no. You don’t realize this until every time you say it someone gets agitated and rushes of saying “Why you, pshhhhh, pshhhh, pshhhhh”. The Behavior Plan was to react with positive redirection. I quickly found that using the fewest words worked well for me. Simply saying the name of an activity that he liked could redirect his thought. “Ghostbusters” and then proceed to putting the movie on worked. There were time however that this wouldn’t be interesting to him. If he asked for “orange juice” and we didn’t have it in the house “buy some at the store” worked well. “Put it on a list” or “dinner first” were also workable solutions.
There were times when his agitation would escalate to grabbing others, pinching and scratching and even grabbing in a choke hold manner. He was very capable of major property damage as well. Knocking over large TV sets breaking glass and tearing down curtains. After getting to know him well and building up a friendship and trust my favorite and most successful go to method of calming him down was to quickly position myself between him and the person or object he was going toward and taking his hands or wrists and holding them while looking him in the eyes and singing the song “He’s got the whole world in his hands”. He liked going to church. He loved singing this song, and he liked it when you placed his name into a verse. “He’s got _____ ______ in his hands”.
We should all put some thought into how often we respond with a quick no and think of possible ways that we can answer or respond without using it at all. Toddler years when they are exploring their surroundings are a perfect example. Although it is necessary to redirect them from harm at the end a day of many “NO’S” they often fall to the floor into a major meltdown kicking and screaming. Offering positive options instead of simply a NO can be much more enjoyable for parent/caregiver and child. Be sure to try it and pass it on to promote peace. :)
With respect, hope, joy and love, Carmela
I love when I read a post and it brings up a past experience that relates to the situation but in a very different way. I recently read a very good blog post by candidkay about clearing out the negative in our lives and making room for more positive influences. The link to her post is here. Please be sure to read it, I am sure you will be glad you did!
I am always both so amazed and fascinated at how alike and yet totally different our lives can be. No two people are ever exactly alike. Just like Dr. Seuss says, “Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.
I must tell you of an individual who I am very grateful to have met. I will refer to him here as Phillip. When I first met Phillip I was told “You must never use the word no when you talk to Phillip”. Phillip had a lot of energy. He was about 6 foot tall. When happy he would sing, clap his hands, cheer and had a beautiful smile and laugh. When he was angry he was very strong. When agitated he would put his pointer finger out as a child does to resemble a gun, and begin shooting pshhhhh, pshhhhh, pshhhhh. If not calmed down fairly quickly and redirected from the cause of his anger, it could escalate into physical attacks on others as well as major property damage. He had a diagnosis of explosive disorder. Minor agitations could quickly grow into a major outburst without proper intervention.
Some memories of my first week with Phillip went a bit like this. Phillip talked in broken sentences. “Orange Juice?” he asked. “sure” I walk to the refrigerator to get him some. I very calmly realize we are out of orange juice and in a happy light hearted way I reply “Oh no, we are out of orange juice. How about some grape?” I don’t think I even realized that the word “no” flowed out of my mouth. “Why you pshhhh, pshhhh, pshhhhh, Thank heavens a veteran staff was training me. I look over at them questioningly “whats wrong?” I asked. “You said no” she said as she very calmly cracks a smile. So what do I do but respond all nervously “oh no, now what do we do?” I knew this would be a bit of a challenge but good Lord it had only been one minute and I had him upset and already used the word no twice! Being trained to work at this home was both extremely funny and stressful at the same time!
Believe it or not, this very quickly became one of my favorite places to work. Although it is not easy getting used to seeing someone rushing toward a housemate to grab them and 90% of the “usual” statements used to respond to a situation like this were off limits. I learned to adapt very quickly with positive reinforcements and redirection. The “game plan” was when he is agitated simply offer him a choice to do something that he enjoys doing, like saying the word Ghostbusters (one of his favorite movies) and then getting it and putting it on for him to watch.
I worked with him for a number of years and very quickly learned what things made him happy, calmed him and redirected his mood. One of my most successful calming plans for Phillip was singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands. Running in between two angry individuals grabbing the “attackers” hands looking directly into his eyes and breaking into a song became my #1 go to plan for keeping Peace. :) Phillip loved going to church and he loved when you put his name into a verse….” He’s got ______ _________, in his hands”. It was a perfect example of the Lords peace in action.
He is such a shining example of how positive energy can fill our lives with hope and peace. As candidkay put it we are all responsible for the energy we bring. Are you the screaming meanie in your family, berating those around you for not serving your every need? Own it. Start where you are. Make it better. Also take care not to let others suck you into a their negative vortex.
Although Phillip’s thought process was very childlike I truly believe he understood there is no room for negative energy in our lives. We need to weed out the negative! Like bad weeds in a garden, negative people and thoughts prevent a person from growing, blossoming and being productive.
We should all take a lesson from Phillip, get creative, be more positive, say no less and look to Jesus to bring you peace :)
Luke 24:36 While they were still talking about this, Jesus himself stood among them and said to them “Peace be with you”
With respect, hope, joy and love, Carmela
-What the Caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls a butterfly- Richard Bach
When we are experiencing emotional pain we almost always feel we are alone, feeling great sadness, regret, shame, embarrassment. Our mind will tell us that we are the only one in the world who has ever had reason to feel this ashamed, embarrassed, or sad.. We feel as though everyone is against us. Although the real truth is that in our small corner of the world we are not the only one who ever feels these negative emotions! The opposite is usually true.
These emotions are very common however because they are negative and make us feel inferior we keep them hidden from others, and by doing this we give them power and allow them to pull our self-esteem even lower.
Many human beings that appear to be very confident, out spoken, social and happy, boldly being a comic, shaming, blaming or laughing at others, often times beneath the surface they are insecure people who are attempting to cover up the negative feelings of unworthiness, guilt or shame.
Human beings have many more likenesses than differences. Every human has vulnerabilities.
My heart goes out to those in pain, and I truly wish that no one had to experience pain and negative situations ever. If you have or are experiencing difficulties and negative situation, and have ever felt hopeless. Please take a moment to try to look at the situation in a completely different manner.
Step back from our individual pain and examine the situation as though it were happening to someone else. Negative emotions are universal and every living being is vulnerable to them. What if the uncomfortable experiences that we endure were a divine gift of understanding and compassion that we could use to help the many others who are feeling hopeless? When we use our experiences to reach out and help others, we can open our hearts and minds to become the pathway through which Divine Guidance can lead others toward hope. Blessings to you and all those who are in pain. Be the change that you wish to see in the world. Open your heart and allow Divine Guidance to lead.
With Respect, Hope, Joy and Love, Carmela
Please take a moment to listen. Many times songs will contain very important messages……. Please listen and share with others!
overcomer-Mandisa Gold-Britt Nicole I gave up-Mark Schultz
Many years ago my heart was awakened to the fact that when you allow God to take complete control of your life and genuinely live with complete trust in God with no fear of the world, amazing things do happen before your eyes. Although it may not always be completely as we would have planned it, when living “In and With The Lords Love” you need not fear!
I am feeling as though I need to tell you of an event that happened to me long ago when some may say that my heart acted with reckless abandon but the Lord “had my back”. I was working midnight to morning hours in a residential care home. This position was an awake overnight in a home where 4 individuals lived who needed support. There was a knock at the door about 1:30 AM and I answered the door finding a person who told me that her car had broken down asking to use the phone. I didn’t think twice about it, when she asked to use the phone to call her husband I left her in.
Soon after leaving her in she began to act suspiciously and raised some red flags to me. My intuition began telling me that she was there to rob the residents. She began telling me that she had worked at the home in the past, asked many questions, and asked to wait inside until her ride got there.
Because I had that internal alarm going off and I was sure she was dishonest, I immediately put all the keys to any money, valuables or medicine of the resident in my pocket. I very cautiously protected their belonging and was very comfortable in her company even though I felt sure she was being deceitful.
While she was making her call a resident woke and joined us. When my attention was distracted from her she went through my purse and took my wallet. She then asked me to use the bathroom. When I escorted her to the location of the bathroom she then commented about the renovations we had made since she was employed there. Asking details what is this door too and so on. This fact proved to me that my suspicions were right! She later came out of the bathroom and continued to chat and visit with me.
She seemed to sense that I was suspicious of her so she changed the story of why she was there. She then when into an elaborate story of how her husband beats her and she used to come there and they would give her shelter. The story went on, she stayed longer, and even asked me to make her a sandwich when she seen the resident getting himself a sandwich. Before she left the house she made one more request of me. She asked if I could get her a sweatshirt or something to put on because it was cold out. I immediately knew this request was simply to get me to leave the room, because my instincts still did not trust her Instead of leaving I offered her the Jacket I was wearing. She tried to put it on but it was to small. She then left. As she left I told her I would say a prayer for her and watched her cross the yard. I truly did say a prayer for her.
The next morning when the AM staff came in I relayed the incident to them being sure to tell them that I was sure she was looking for cash but I kept the keys on me and made sure she was not able to roam freely. I then collected my things and returned home.
Later that day I received a phone call from my bank telling me that someone picked up my wallet that had been thrown out along a nearby street! She had taken my wallet and went shopping at the local 24 hour store and then in the morning went to the bank and cashed a check for the remainder of the funds. She also had my drivers license and even though our appearances were as drastically different as possible they allowed her to cash the checks.
Police were called, and because she stayed so long and talked with me she was very easily identified by those who worked with her previously, and by me in a photo array as well. I had no cash along that night (other than 50 cents in the pocket of the jacket I tried to give her) but because of the way things transpired I was not harmed in any way and all of the money that she had taken through cashing checks was returned to me by the bank.
The bank had her photo, the signature on the checks were not even a close resemblance of mine and they admitted that it was their mistake for not looking at her identification to compare our photos. The police later told me that she was out on probation when she did this and the time before when she stole a check and cashed it she had signed her name to it.
After all of this transpired I was very upset and angry and as I was explaining the story to a coworker I stressed that I waved goodby to her and even went in and said a prayer for her! “Carmela, I think it worked” she said. “All is well ,no one is harmed and everything is coming right back to you!” The Lord “Had my back” :)
That was many years ago and although I did come across her picture not to long ago, I have not heard how she is doing. I wish her nothing bad and I truly hope that she has changed for the good.
Be faithful and do not fear-
Isaiah 8:9-10 9. Raise the war cry you nations and be shattered!
Listen, all you distant lands. Prepare for battle, and be shattered!
10. Devise your strategy, but it will be thwarted: propose your plan,
but it will not stand, for God is with us .
We can not control what other people do or how they chose to live. The only thing we can do is LIVE IN LOVE and Pray for other people.
Here is one of my favorite songs from The Sidewalk Profits
With Respect, Hope, Joy and Love, Carmela
Teach us to make the most of our time, so that we may grow in wisdom – Psalm 90:12
Take time to love and be loved— It is the God-given privilege
Take time to pray—- It is the greatest power on earth
Take time to read—- It is the fountain of wisdom
Take time to think— It is the source of power
Take time to give— It is too short a day to be selfish
Take time to be friendly—- It is the road to happiness
Take time to laugh— It is the music of the soul
Take time to play— It is the secret of perpetual youth
Take time to work—- It is the price of success
With respect, hope, joy and love, Carmela
Please help us raise money for a cure for Mitochondrial Disease. Mitochondrial Disease we now know the disease is approaching the frequency of childhood cancers. Each year, 1,000 to 4,000 children in the United states are born with a mitochondrial disease. Wyatt’s birthday is in July and he loved family outings, traveling, and site seeing. Instead of planning a walk/run at a specific location we have set the event up so that anyone anywhere can join in and celebrate with us. I am sure as you walk in different locations all over the world Wyatt will be smiling in heaven and enjoying every minute with us!
Here is what you do….
Step2. you will receive a running bib to pin on when you walk, some fun temp tatoo’s and an
awesome medal for participating.
Step3. Plan a family outing somewhere fun, wear you running bibs and tatoo’s HAVE FUN walk
run or roll however far you can. Most importantly enjoy the day with your family and friends.
Step4, Please be sure to upload a Fun, Silly, Happy Photo to Wyatt’s event facebook page
Or if you choose not to run but would simply like to make a donation you can do that here
With respect, hope, joy, and love,
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain…….Kahlil Gibran
As a grandmother who has lost a grandson I am finding the thought of moving beyond the brokenness unimaginable at times. Someone made a comment to me that was not in relation to losing a grandchild in death however, it was about being a grandparent who lives “a thousand miles away” from their grandchild and longing to live closer. He said, “My solution (temporary, until I can join them) is to love everyone I encounter with the love my Savior gave to me. That isn’t such a bad alternative, after all”.
This reminded me of a situation the other day that I experienced with a child about the same age of my grandson. As I was working on a project in a store, one isle away from me (entertaining himself for quite some time alone) a young boy was playing with plastic dinosaurs. He was very contently acting out noises and actions as if he was putting on a well rehearsed play. I smiled at him and complimented him on his knowledge about the dinosaurs. This simple friendly comment led to a quite long interaction with the youngster as he very eagerly shared more of his knowledge, imitations and stories of the books he read on the subject of dinosaurs.
Once you live through the loss of a child you are forever aware of how precious each and every minute is. Even though this little one appeared to be content in independent play he truly loved the attention and seemed to be in need of kind interaction. After quite awhile his mother finally came looking for him. We said goodbye and I told him that I was sure one day I would be picking up a magazine that will have his photo as a paleontologist and an article on a dinosaur site that he was exploring. His face beamed with a proud smile. When he walked away my heart was once again became consumed with the sadness of missing my grandson, but I pray that by treating the young boy in the store in the same manner and with the same love that I would have treated my grandson it provided a positive memory for him as well as sent a smile and a hug to my grandson in heaven.
With respect, hope, love and joy,