Proverbs12:20 There is deceit in the hearts of those who plot evil, but joy for those who promote peace.
“We may not always see eye to eye but we can walk hand in hand and promote peace”
Photo is from morguefile.com
Have you ever been in a situation where you have seen someone who appears to be in need of help? Watch the video and then ask yourself how you would respond if in this situation.
The video states that when people are in a crowd it is easier to “pass the buck” and not respond if no one else is responding. When I was watching this I couldn’t believe that everyone kept walking by without making an effort to help. Even if you were not brave enough to approach the individual to offer aid there are other things you can do to help. You can tell the person you will call for assistance, if you are to afraid to talk with the person at least make a mental note of the location and make a call and have help sent.
The video reminds me of the Parable of the Good Samaritan. Maybe all we need to do in a situation such as this is to ask God to help us know what to do. Don’t simply do what others are doing. Ask God for the courage and the wisdom to help.
As the sheep look to their shepherd for guidance and safety, If we as humans, look to the Lord for guidance our hearts will be filled with the fruit of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control
Parable of the Good Samaritan Luke 10:25-37
Fruit of the Spirit Galatians 5:22-23
With respect, hope, joy and love, Carmela
Yesterday I wrote a post about a position I held years ago. Residential group homes have several individuals who need varied levels of support to assist them in leading an ordinary life in the community. The job responsibilities are usually similar to that of a mom, dad or legal guardian to a child or young adult. The abilities of the people living in the home can vary greatly. Some individuals may need assistance with physical mobility issues only and some may require supports with behavioral issues. I was taking care of a very active 6 foot man who generally had a very jovial and kind spirit. He however, had a diagnosis of explosive disorder and very short fuse when it came to hearing the word no. This seemed to trigger something inside that usually sent him running off with his pointer finger in the air making shooting sounds, pshhhhh, pshhhhh, pshhhhh. If his “traveling road show” happened to interfere with a housemate’s peace and quiet and they spoke up in a negative way things could quickly escalate into and out of control situation.
As a caregiver or parent when we are in charge of a group of individuals there are usually many times in a day when you use the word no. You don’t realize this until every time you say it someone gets agitated and rushes of saying “Why you, pshhhhh, pshhhh, pshhhhh”. The Behavior Plan was to react with positive redirection. I quickly found that using the fewest words worked well for me. Simply saying the name of an activity that he liked could redirect his thought. “Ghostbusters” and then proceed to putting the movie on worked. There were time however that this wouldn’t be interesting to him. If he asked for “orange juice” and we didn’t have it in the house “buy some at the store” worked well. “Put it on a list” or “dinner first” were also workable solutions.
There were times when his agitation would escalate to grabbing others, pinching and scratching and even grabbing in a choke hold manner. He was very capable of major property damage as well. Knocking over large TV sets breaking glass and tearing down curtains. After getting to know him well and building up a friendship and trust my favorite and most successful go to method of calming him down was to quickly position myself between him and the person or object he was going toward and taking his hands or wrists and holding them while looking him in the eyes and singing the song “He’s got the whole world in his hands”. He liked going to church. He loved singing this song, and he liked it when you placed his name into a verse. “He’s got _____ ______ in his hands”.
We should all put some thought into how often we respond with a quick no and think of possible ways that we can answer or respond without using it at all. Toddler years when they are exploring their surroundings are a perfect example. Although it is necessary to redirect them from harm at the end a day of many “NO’S” they often fall to the floor into a major meltdown kicking and screaming. Offering positive options instead of simply a NO can be much more enjoyable for parent/caregiver and child. Be sure to try it and pass it on to promote peace. 🙂
With respect, hope, joy and love, Carmela
I love when I read a post and it brings up a past experience that relates to the situation but in a very different way. I recently read a very good blog post by candidkay about clearing out the negative in our lives and making room for more positive influences. The link to her post is here. Please be sure to read it, I am sure you will be glad you did!
I am always both so amazed and fascinated at how alike and yet totally different our lives can be. No two people are ever exactly alike. Just like Dr. Seuss says, “Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.
I must tell you of an individual who I am very grateful to have met. I will refer to him here as Phillip. When I first met Phillip I was told “You must never use the word no when you talk to Phillip”. Phillip had a lot of energy. He was about 6 foot tall. When happy he would sing, clap his hands, cheer and had a beautiful smile and laugh. When he was angry he was very strong. When agitated he would put his pointer finger out as a child does to resemble a gun, and begin shooting pshhhhh, pshhhhh, pshhhhh. If not calmed down fairly quickly and redirected from the cause of his anger, it could escalate into physical attacks on others as well as major property damage. He had a diagnosis of explosive disorder. Minor agitations could quickly grow into a major outburst without proper intervention.
Some memories of my first week with Phillip went a bit like this. Phillip talked in broken sentences. “Orange Juice?” he asked. “sure” I walk to the refrigerator to get him some. I very calmly realize we are out of orange juice and in a happy light hearted way I reply “Oh no, we are out of orange juice. How about some grape?” I don’t think I even realized that the word “no” flowed out of my mouth. “Why you pshhhh, pshhhh, pshhhhh, Thank heavens a veteran staff was training me. I look over at them questioningly “whats wrong?” I asked. “You said no” she said as she very calmly cracks a smile. So what do I do but respond all nervously “oh no, now what do we do?” I knew this would be a bit of a challenge but good Lord it had only been one minute and I had him upset and already used the word no twice! Being trained to work at this home was both extremely funny and stressful at the same time!
Believe it or not, this very quickly became one of my favorite places to work. Although it is not easy getting used to seeing someone rushing toward a housemate to grab them and 90% of the “usual” statements used to respond to a situation like this were off limits. I learned to adapt very quickly with positive reinforcements and redirection. The “game plan” was when he is agitated simply offer him a choice to do something that he enjoys doing, like saying the word Ghostbusters (one of his favorite movies) and then getting it and putting it on for him to watch.
I worked with him for a number of years and very quickly learned what things made him happy, calmed him and redirected his mood. One of my most successful calming plans for Phillip was singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands. Running in between two angry individuals grabbing the “attackers” hands looking directly into his eyes and breaking into a song became my #1 go to plan for keeping Peace. 🙂 Phillip loved going to church and he loved when you put his name into a verse….” He’s got ______ _________, in his hands”. It was a perfect example of the Lords peace in action.
He is such a shining example of how positive energy can fill our lives with hope and peace. As candidkay put it we are all responsible for the energy we bring. Are you the screaming meanie in your family, berating those around you for not serving your every need? Own it. Start where you are. Make it better. Also take care not to let others suck you into a their negative vortex.
Although Phillip’s thought process was very childlike I truly believe he understood there is no room for negative energy in our lives. We need to weed out the negative! Like bad weeds in a garden, negative people and thoughts prevent a person from growing, blossoming and being productive.
We should all take a lesson from Phillip, get creative, be more positive, say no less and look to Jesus to bring you peace 🙂
Luke 24:36 While they were still talking about this, Jesus himself stood among them and said to them “Peace be with you”
With respect, hope, joy and love, Carmela