Carmela Snelbaker

“Give your sheep a little corn tonight they are calling for extreme cold. They will need extra calories to keep warm”.

Every once in a while a simple “sentence of wisdom” that was relayed to me many many years ago pops into my head as a reminder that it doesn’t take a long lecture, a classroom, or professor to “educate” each other, and better prepare us for life and looking out for others.

This weekend I was able to observe two small friends playing together. One of those friends a doctor has given the diagnosis of “Autism” the other had no diagnosis.

As someone who has spent many hours working with some amazing adults who also “wear the labels others have placed onto them and their behavioral habits that may differ from the majority of the population”. I choose to see the likenesses rather than the differences. 

As an observer, instructor or parent rather then allowing or accepting the diagnoses as a ( Label that defines the person ), instead use this label or piece of information as an heads up instruction to spend time looking for different or new ways to instruct teach and showcase the many abilities, likenesses, and emotional needs all humans have. 

I once worked with an adult who, when receiving “instruction on how to complete a task” in the same manner that a teacher explains an assignment to the majority of students, this individual would start to get very agitated and exhibit “nervous” type behaviors……. the project would not end in a successful way.

I noticed though, this person intently watching every move I made from afar….. I also knew that this individual had the ability to physically complete each step of the task that I was doing.

The problem was in the communication of the “how to complete” the step…….Not at all in his ability to do so!

I am not sure exactly how to explain why they felt such a “heavy burden”  from having the instruction explained directly to them…… but I was able to, through trial, figure out that all I needed to do was sit within view of this individual (without telling them to watch me and without any pressure or expectations) …. I would tell “MYSELF” what “I” had to do to complete the project and they would “LISTEN IN ON MY INSTRUCTION TO MYSELF” as they watched me do the task.

If I then took the project and slid the project over to them to try…… without saying a word………. they would complete the task perfectly.

It felt as though in “giving this person the ability to pretend to be me” they were able to freely make an attempt at completing the task without having the burden of “total responsibility and anxiety of failure fall onto them”.

Possibly there is an emotional freedom and non threatening acceptance in mimicking modeled behavior.

Although this can be detrimental when mimicking bad behavior. When modeling positive, kind and productive behavior it can lead to success and can build confidence with every positive outcome.

Whether a broken confidence in their own abilities, or a faulty connection or understanding of language, causing them to feel excessive emotional pressure and anxiety to complete…. Or an executive function malfunction with “planning reasoning and functioning”. In the end modeling behavior allowed this person to show his abilities without the “pressure” of following individual verbal instructions which caused him high anxiety.

We were able to work together to create some impressive projects through silent modeling and at times a very short written instruction. The pride on his face and the giggle shared after a genuine compliment shared at his impressive outcome was priceless!

Together our differences can make a strong and beautiful community as we learn from as well as teach each other.

Never allow a diagnosis or descriptive label create a limitation. Accept and find ways to include alternative needs and abilities without viewing a difference as a negative fault but rather a personalized ability.

Skills, Knowledge and personal growth will always encompass a wide range of abilities and supports. It is so important that we as a society remain open to respectfully including all abilities in society and encourage and uplift each other’s positive contributions in the world.

Never stop talking or trying new approaches! Believe that those, who may not appear to be listening or are majorly struggling with following verbal instructions, may not be lacking in abilities possibly just needing help finding a new way to understand and accomplish a task without pressure and anxiety.

Try different ways of communicating and never allow a Label to become a Limit. 

Believe that one day a memory of something heard many years ago will once again pop into ones head, and continue to make a positive difference within completely new surrounding.

“Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with shades of deeper meaning.” ― Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings“

Anything that works against you can also work for you once you understand the Principle of Reverse.” ― Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

With Respect, Hope, Joy and Love, Carmela