Carmela Snelbaker

Author of "Thank You For Your Service, Sheep!"
  • About the Author
  • About the Book
  • Contact Page
  • Meditative Writings
  • Tag: bully

    • Wisdom Sheds Light On The Ghosts Of The Past ……..Daily Prompt: Ghost

      Posted at 4:44 PM by carmelasnelbaker
      Aug 17th

      via Daily Prompt: Ghost

      Ghosts that haunt are not always scary, sometimes they are best described as disappointments. In our lives as we live through the challenges and encounters that life throws our way, we will meet people who can leave us totally heartbroken with disappointment.

      As a person who is a constant seeker of spiritual beauty and truth, I get great joy, contentment and peace offering kindness and genuine love to others. In my adventures I have met several people who I have extended great kindness and support to who have deeply hurt me with dishonest habits.

      When we find ourselves confronted with conflict that we cannot change or be supportive of, the best option for our life is to continue our life with the same integrity we have always lived and part ways with those who wish to live in a different manner.

      This does not mean however, that the memories of these encounters does not live on. They often surface bringing with them a very sad feelings of disappointment.

      There are times in our life when we will meet people who think differently and live differently than we are used to. Many of these encounters will enrich our lives and give us personal growth.

      It is when an encounter with someone begins to change and our normality of life and integrity are challenged and belittled by another that we need to separate ourselves from the situation.

      Even though the person may be blaming you and belittling you as a person, this has nothing to do with you or anything you have done. The other person has a true inner weakness of blame. Because he or she is feeling small they wish you to feel smaller so they attack to pull you down with them.

      For whatever reason deep inside if the person does not get their own way, or is not believed to be right, an inner switch is flipped on and the blame game begins. They will be right and everyone else wrong. Tensions rise and the name calling aggression starts.

      nothing about you

      I have no idea what is truly going on in their heads, and I do not know if there is a diagnosis or proper name for these actions. What I do know is that I have seen this happen many times and the people that are doing this are not happy people. They are mislead in believing that what they are doing will gain them happiness.

      sad-how-some-people-believe-their-own-lies-and-the-stories-they-make-up-in-their-heads-quote-1
      displaced anger
      you are the only one that knows I am here

      inner companion

      Remove yourself from the chaos. Do whatever you need to do to reconnect with your inner peace.

      step outside

      Prayer is my choice of action against chaos, aggression and uncertainty.

      prayspirit

      The Holy Spirit Provides us with Endless Strength, Courage and Wisdom.

      1Corinthians.12.8b-HolySpiritGivesKnowledgeToSome

            ……………… Intimidators and Bullies Change your ways  ……………….

      If you are a person who has an inner weakness of blame. When you feel angry and out of control. Re-examine your thoughts and feelings. Look deep inside yourself for the answers before you unleash blame on everyone other than yourself.

      mirror of reflection

      Invite the Holy Spirit into your life, and pray daily for assistance in managing the monster from within that unleashes the blaming defense on others as soon as your confidence feels shaken.

      fruitof the spirit

      Allow the beauty of the Holy Spirit to take over and lead you.

      holy ghost

      Learning to Live in Love will bring you unending Peace from Within.

      sharing god's love

      Never let anyone attack your integrity, belittle you, intimidate you or manipulate a situation with dishonest bullying tactics. Remove yourself from the situation and continue your journey of seeking and sharing spiritual beauty and truth with others.

      Dishonesty will never win over Truth and Love. Follow the Light and walk away from Darkness.

      Trust-And-Surrender-As-Spiritual-Alchemy

      With Respect, Hope, Joy and Love, Carmela

       

       

      Share this:

      • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
      • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
      • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
      • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
      • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
      • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
      • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
      Like Loading...
      Posted in Meditative Writings | Tagged #blog4peace, abuse, ant-bullying, bully, Carmela Snelbaker, Christianity, daily post challenge, dignity, divine guidance, Divine Love, DPchallenge, gratitude, intimidation, joy, kindness, love, Mental health, peace, respect, Unconditional love, verbal abuse, wisdom
    • Life Sucks, Go Get Help :)

      Posted at 5:08 PM by carmelasnelbaker
      Apr 7th

      Life sucks I cannot wait until I can live in heaven with my grandson in peace! In saying that I in no way mean I am ready to end things here on earth as I know that the time that I spend here is not to be left to my own control. I have a really deep understanding and belief in God and I render my life to divine guidance, and will carry on until I have an official invitation into Heaven.

      So here is my newly acquired lessons, I am feeling the need to put out to the world so that it may help others who may find themselves confronted with similar conditions.

      First off as parents please be aware as we are raising our children, every experience we share with them is setting into their memory and leaving a mark. The way that we act in front of them, to them, and with them is a learning experience that they will use as reference in their future life.

      There are many adults living in this world who are acting in ways that are aggressive to others. They may or may not know the error of their ways. Some may have been taught this way and others may have simply fallen into these ways by other means. Some of these people may even be in the possession of a badge or other accreditation they may even use to gain your trust.

      I have seen people perform extremely well in the position of authority doing amazingly impressive helpful work; and in a matter of hours later I have watched the very same individual fall out of the ability to verbally express a need and resort to abusive techniques to obtain what they needed or what they wanted to obtain.

      Abuse is not always about physically attacking someone. Abuse also comes in ways of abuse of authority, manipulation and intimidation. The intimidation abuse is even more frustrating and debilitating to the victim because the abuser will always stop at nothing in attempts to trash and lie about the victim’s explanation of events. The victim will be portrayed as a liar, and a crazy person.

      Sometimes it may be mental health issues other times simply problems with authority. Maybe just a mean bully. Weather it is how you were taught from the beginning or simply it is just how you want to act. It is wrong and needs to be stopped and called attention too.

      As a victim there are things you can do. You can place a stop all contact with the person at your local police department. I am posting these things because in my own situation these things were not clearly apparent from the beginning and when stress is very high it makes functioning and responding so difficult. When you share your situation with others it gives you great strength and support. It still however can leave you at a loss for what to do next.

      Bullies are small people. They need to use manipulation and intimidation as a way to obtain what they want. They do not know how to communicate and they do not have knowledge and respect for boundaries. There are many wonderful books out that can help explain respect for boundaries, respect for another persons’ individual personal space, (I like to call this spacial boundaries) and respect for physical boundaries such as a door, a piece of furniture, or any object.

      I find it extremely sad because these individuals can be very nice people and do very good things when they are in a positive “head space” and when they are being admired, looked up to and receiving positive reinforcement, however when normal every day activity is happening and they feel the need for attention they find themselves unable to verbally find words to clearly state what their need is. At that point they may snap into a rage of demands, demeaning attacks using belittling and nasty words of hate and accusations. They will make themselves aggressively threatening and fearful by breaking down any physical boundary between you and them and disrespecting any request for personal space (spacial boundaries). The other person is always made out to be crazy and they will always portray themselves as being completely free from any fault. Their story of the events will be completely different than the actual event with very hateful accusations toward the opposing party.

      Please if you ever come across anything similar stand up to them and make them seek help, you have to walk away because they will never accept help from you because they KNOW they are always right. Unless you bring attention to a Bully and his actions he will continue to go about his ways and hurt innocent people and himself over and over again.
      Human beings have many more likenesses than differences. Every human has vulnerabilities.
      My heart goes out to those in pain, and I truly wish that no one had to experience pain and negative situations ever. If you have or are experiencing difficulties and negative situation, and have ever felt hopeless. Please take a moment to try to look at the situation in a completely different manner.
      Step back from your individual pain and examine the situation as though it were happening to someone else. Negative emotions are universal and every living being is vulnerable to them.

      What if the uncomfortable experiences that you endure were a divine gift of understanding and compassion that we could use to help the many others who are feeling hopeless? When we use our experiences to reach out and help others, we can open our hearts and minds to become the pathway through which Divine Guidance can lead others toward hope.

      Blessings to you and all those who are in pain. Be the change that you wish to see in the world. Open your heart and allow Divine Guidance to lead.

      I truly believe that Peace and Respect for all living creation is a very attainable goal. Every person can be a teacher. When you practice respect, you are teaching respect.

      Perhaps the answer to attaining this is as the Teacher’s Prayer states. If each one of us starts with teaching just a few people, many and beautiful things, so they can one day teach a few people. As this continues on and on we can make Gratitude, Hope, Joyfulness, and love abound.

      With respect, hope, wisdom and love,  Carmela

       

       

      Share this:

      • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
      • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
      • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
      • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
      • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
      • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
      • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
      Like Loading...
      Posted in Meditative Writings | Tagged abuse, abuse of authority, abusive relationships, anti-bullying, bully, Carmela Snelbaker, get help, hope, kindness, life sucks, love, peace, respect, self help
    • Mental Health Diagnosis to Blame or Might Some Incidents Be Simply Blatant Disrespect For Others?

      Posted at 5:00 AM by carmelasnelbaker
      Aug 22nd

      Every day I pray for my heart to be filled with Love, Compassion for others, my mind to be filled with Wisdom, to know what it is I should be doing and saying. I truly feel so unsure some days of what I am supposed to be doing and how I should be going about it. Many days when I look at my life, in a logical way, it does not look like I am making wise choices when it comes to finances, and planning for the my future. But my heart tells me that what I am doing, and where I am is exactly the best plan for now.

      I have been saying these very same prayers for many years now. Life is not easy, sometimes my thoughts start questioning, and I worry about financially being able to keep everything paid on a long-term basis. When I feel this uncertainty, I go to my treadmill to walk or run off my nervousness, and I pray. When I finish my run I am always much calmer, clear minded, and usually have a clear game plan for that day. Right now though, and possibly forever, it truly is one day at a time.

      Having a grandchild who faces every new day with this same uncertainty, makes me more aware that everyday is truly something that every one of us should be thankful for. No matter what amount of planning we do for our futures there is no guarantee that all of our planning is going to unfold as we plan it to.

      I had an experience this week that has me very unsettled.  It involves someone who I was told has emotional problems.  This event did not take place in my own home, or within my own family. However years ago I allowed someone I knew, who was diagnosed with mental health problems, move into my home and attempted to help her to improve her situation.

      I gave complete trust and respect, only to be taken advantage of in the most horrible and hurtful way possible. She stole photos, from my family photo album. She then took these photos to her work place, and told her coworkers that this was her child. She continued the lie with more lies about how terribly stressed she was because the child had many extremely rare medical problems. She made up a story and condition that she had seen on a talk show, attempting to gain sympathy and use this as an excuse for robbing them of a fairly large amount of money!

      This person did have a mental health diagnosis however, she had an average intelligence level and schooling, was able to clearly explain that she understood right from wrong. She was 100% aware that she was wrong when she was lying, taking advantage of people and stealing! My heart was horribly hurt by that persons actions. I had been warned by many people who had experienced her lies and UN-trustworthiness, but I wanted so desperately to believe that every person has some good inside, and was willing to allow her a chance to correct her ways. That particular event has left me forever cautious toward that individual. I wish her well, can communicate kindly with her but will never allow myself to wholeheartedly put my complete trust in her that way again.

      The situation that happened to me this week has many similarities, and once again has disappointed my faith in a person. I once again allowed myself to look past red flags, that had been noticed by others, and continued to look for the good within this person. I was not only surprised and disappointed by this person, but also encountered a mild but very angry physical assault from them.  The part that is so worrisome to me is that this latest incident also involves 3 small children as well as other innocent family members. In each situation the individual presented themselves as a devout Christian, speaking and giving Christian advice, and saying that they are aware of their mistakes and are changing their ways.

      A simple situation where the individual (almost 30 years old) didn’t get their way, and was not receiving sympathetic attention, ended in physical aggression toward me and a hostile prevention of privacy for another family member.  My heart breaks for the children of this person, who are being taught, and possibly witness daily these ways.

      I know I should never question anyone’s faith or their level of devotion toward changing for the better. I also am aware that we all are imperfect and are all at risk of falling short of our goals. The thing that angers me is knowing that every time this person fails at improving themself an innocent person ends up becoming a victim of their thoughtless disrespect for others.

      I struggled today with both sadness and frustration because of that experience. A family member to this person attempted to explain the event by saying they were aware that this person has emotional issues.

      Might these incidents simply be a selfish person refusing to show respect for anyone else?

      Could it be as simple as an adult throwing a temper tantrum in order to get their own way or attempt to gain sympathetic attention from others?

      When a family members shows up and excuses bad behavior by calling it “Emotional Problems” it only adds to the problem, as well as may be putting the people who this individual cares for and lives with in danger!

      I worked for many years with individuals who had a variety of different mental health diagnosis’. I received specialized training on how to respond in behavioral crisis situations. I have opened my home to people with mental health problems to provide respite for families. It does not matter how many times I see similar situations replay themselves, it never gets any easier to understand or to deal with.

      I am aware that there is a great debate about the need for better support for people with mental health issues, but there is also a great need to recognize when an assault, theft or attempt at physical aggression may not be the result of a mental health condition or diagnosis at all, but perhaps simply an act of selfish aggression and blatant disrespect toward another person.

      In hopes of picking up my spirits I was listening to Christian music today.

      I have found three songs from Shine Bright Baby that give me a bit of hope…. I hope you will listen to them, enjoy their message and let me know your thoughts on the situation.

      With respect, hope, joy and love,

      Carmela

      Shine bright Baby Dreamers Album

      love restored

      Share this:

      • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
      • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
      • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
      • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
      • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
      • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
      • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
      Like Loading...
      Posted in Meditative Writings | Tagged bully, disrespect, Health, inspiration, kindness, love, Mental disorder, Mental health, music, never to far, respect, sadness, shine bright baby, wisdom
    • Archives

      • November 2025
      • September 2025
      • August 2025
      • March 2025
      • December 2024
      • April 2024
      • January 2024
      • November 2023
      • September 2023
      • July 2023
      • June 2023
      • May 2023
      • July 2022
      • April 2018
      • March 2018
      • November 2017
      • August 2017
      • April 2017
      • March 2017
      • February 2017
      • January 2017
      • December 2016
      • November 2016
      • October 2016
      • September 2016
      • August 2016
      • July 2016
      • June 2016
      • May 2016
      • April 2016
      • March 2016
      • July 2015
      • August 2014
      • July 2014
      • June 2014
      • March 2014
      • February 2014
      • September 2013
      • August 2013
      • July 2013
      • June 2013

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Carmela Snelbaker
    • Join 291 other subscribers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Carmela Snelbaker
    • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...
 

    %d