loss of child | Carmela Snelbaker

Tag: loss of child

Daily Loving Encounters

Posted at 4:33 PM by carmelasnelbaker

Mar 26th

Jesus, Others, You

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain…….Kahlil Gibran

As a grandmother who has lost a grandson I am finding the thought of moving beyond the brokenness unimaginable at times. Someone made a comment to me that was not in relation to losing a grandchild in death however, it was about being a grandparent who lives “a thousand miles away” from their grandchild and longing to live closer. He said, “My solution (temporary, until I can join them) is to love everyone I encounter with the love my Savior gave to me. That isn’t such a bad alternative, after all”.
This reminded me of a situation the other day that I experienced with a child about the same age of my grandson. As I was working on a project in a store, one isle away from me (entertaining himself for quite some time alone) a young boy was playing with plastic dinosaurs. He was very contently acting out noises and actions as if he was putting on a well rehearsed play. I smiled at him and complimented him on his knowledge about the dinosaurs. This simple friendly comment led to a quite long interaction with the youngster as he very eagerly shared more of his knowledge, imitations and stories of the books he read on the subject of dinosaurs.
Once you live through the loss of a child you are forever aware of how precious each and every minute is. Even though this little one appeared to be content in independent play he truly loved the attention and seemed to be in need of kind interaction. After quite awhile his mother finally came looking for him. We said goodbye and I told him that I was sure one day I would be picking up a magazine that will have his photo as a paleontologist and an article on a dinosaur site that he was exploring. His face beamed with a proud smile. When he walked away my heart was once again became consumed with the sadness of missing my grandson, but I pray that by treating the young boy in the store in the same manner and with the same love that I would have treated my grandson it provided a positive memory for him as well as sent a smile and a hug to my grandson in heaven.

With respect, hope, love and joy,

Carmela

Posted in Meditative Writings | Tagged gifts of love, grandchildren, Grief, Jesus, loss of child, love

Our Family’s Safety Ring of Peace

Posted at 5:28 PM by carmelasnelbaker

Feb 20th

Much time has passed since my last post. I seem to have been at a loss for words since the passing of my grandson. Grief is a very strange thing. There is much written about it and many thoroughly explained steps of grief are defined, but there is no quick recovery and each event is so very different.

Several months before Wyatt’s passing he was very anxious and afraid. He was having bad dreams and medications were causing some hallucinations. I happened to be wearing a thin silver band ring with the word PEACE engraved on it. I gave him my ring, and had a conversation with him. “This can be your safety ring. Do you remember in church how we share the peace with our neighbor?” Shaking hands and saying “Peace be with you”. “Yes” he answered. “Wear the ring to remind you that you are safe and fold your hands and say, Dear God, Please take all the scary stuff away.” The ring reminds us that we’re not alone comfort is just a prayer away. The ring and prayers brought him comfort.
We also talked about having a family ring made. He could chose what he wanted it to look like and say. We each would have a ring and wear it so even when we are not together we can wear and feel safe. He discussed the ring with mom dad and sisters and they decided on having a silver band with a small heart stamped on the band and inside the band it would say forever loved. We had them made and wore them. We were comforted by the connection of the ring and the reminder we are not alone. The ring continues to bring me comfort I treasure the daily reminder of my loving grandson’s presence and the comfort of our loving God.

With respect, hope, joy and love, Carmela

Posted in Family Stories, Meditative Writings | Tagged Carmela Snelbaker, challenges, children, Christianity, courage, dignity, family, grandchildren, hope, hospice, joy, loss of child, love, peace