Much time has passed since my last post. I seem to have been at a loss for words since the passing of my grandson. Grief is a very strange thing. There is much written about it and many thoroughly explained steps of grief are defined, but there is no quick recovery and each event is so very different.
Several months before Wyatt’s passing he was very anxious and afraid. He was having bad dreams and medications were causing some hallucinations. I happened to be wearing a thin silver band ring with the word PEACE engraved on it. I gave him my ring, and had a conversation with him. “This can be your safety ring. Do you remember in church how we share the peace with our neighbor?” Shaking hands and saying “Peace be with you”. “Yes” he answered. “Wear the ring to remind you that you are safe and fold your hands and say, Dear God, Please take all the scary stuff away.” The ring reminds us that we’re not alone comfort is just a prayer away. The ring and prayers brought him comfort.
We also talked about having a family ring made. He could chose what he wanted it to look like and say. We each would have a ring and wear it so even when we are not together we can wear and feel safe. He discussed the ring with mom dad and sisters and they decided on having a silver band with a small heart stamped on the band and inside the band it would say forever loved. We had them made and wore them. We were comforted by the connection of the ring and the reminder we are not alone. The ring continues to bring me comfort I treasure the daily reminder of my loving grandson’s presence and the comfort of our loving God.
With respect, hope, joy and love, Carmela
When you feel like you need to help someone you pray hard, offer help and support, but you want to be able to do more. This is when we use our hands and minds to help raise money and raise awareness. My grandson is receiving hospice care and has been diagnosed with Mitochondrial Disease. This week is Mitochondrial Disease Awareness week. I have crocheted a Prayer Shawl and placed it on ebay as a charity auction. The funds raised from the auction of the shawl will be donated to United Mitochondrial Disease Foundation to help to find a cure. Please consider visiting the auction link, sharing the auction or post with friends and family, placing a bid, or visiting UMDF.org and making a donation. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your help and support and prayers. Hopefully the new owner of the prayer shawl auction will wrap in the shawl as they pray for the many individuals who are living their lives with mitochondrial disease and the many who will be diagnosed with it in the future as well.
http://www.ebay.com/itm/281169193505
With respect, hope, joy and love,
Carmela
This post has been written in response to the Daily Post Challenge: Success
Ultimately the one thing that I wish to accomplish with my words, whether it is through the blog or from within a children’s book, is to use words to teach a child and parents how to treasure life and live with gratitude.
No matter how sad, poor, or unhappy a day may seem there is always something within that day to be grateful for. It is never easy to look past our own hurts and needs but if you make it a point to do this you will always find that there is someone out there, and often times many people out there, who are suffering more greatly than you.
The greatest thing my heart longs for is to teach children to live positively, be thankful, kind, compassionate to others, forgiving when they are treated with less than these, and most importantly to be confident in who they are as a person. “Only you are you” It is OK to be unique:)
Although I may never know if I am successful, I pray that my efforts will touch others in a positive way.
With respect, hope, joy and love, Carmela
In my travels as a caregiver, I have met many amazingly courageous and beautiful people. Each person, who I was fortunate enough to meet and take care of, I carry in my heart. They truly have changed my life and taught me many beautiful things. These experiences I believe to be a greater education than any textbook or classroom education that I have had in the past.
I have a plaque that hangs by my door. I can’t remember where, or even when, I came across it however, I treasure it. I see it daily, and try to live up to the words. It goes as follows:
A teacher’s prayer……
One day I would like to teach,
just a few people,
many and beautiful things,
that would help them
when they will one day teach-a few people
I have 5 beautiful grandchildren. One of my grandsons faced many difficult chronic medical issues each day. My heart breaks each day because of the many challenging situations he and other children in similar situations endure. He was an amazingly strong person. The dignity with which he embraced life and all the challenges each day brings, leaves an unforgettable and remarkable imprint on my life.
Often times the chronic sorrow that one lives with, makes us truly grateful with heightened awareness every moment of every day. It is because of this awareness of how precious each moment is, that makes me strive to want to teach children from a very young age awareness and gratitude for life. If we have our eyes opened to gratitude and are taught from a young age to recognize the positive characteristics, and contributions that surround us the outcome will be one of respect for all humankind and animal-kind as well.
I truly believe that Peace and Respect for all living creation is a very attainable goal. Every person can be a teacher. When you practice respect, you are teaching respect.
Perhaps the answer to attaining this is as the Teacher’s Prayer states. If each one of us starts with teaching just a few people, many and beautiful things, so they can one day teach a few people. As this continues on and on we can make Gratitude, Hope, Joyfulness, and love abound.
With respect, hope, joy and love,
Carmela
Wordless Wednesday
In November of 2000 I was dropping someone off for an appointment at a therapy facility. As we walk into the appointment we seen a young lady walking a dog. A smile, hello and a gentle pat for the dog lead to a pleading request: “Please, Please, Please take him home with you! They are going to take him to the pound today. My Counselor found him and can’t find his owner.” She pleaded.
My dad came to mind. He was grieving the recent loss of his dog and he lived alone since the death of my mother several years before. I decided to follow-up on her request and ended up bringing the dog home to my dad.
The meeting with my dad and my newly acquired dog was perfect! Just as though it was meant to be. He walked in and sat right beside my dad’s chair as if he belonged there. I left them and later talked with a friend on the telephone explaining it as if it was a heartwarming story straight off the “Oprah” show. “He’s a blessing”, I said with amazement. “He walked in and laid down beside dad’s chair as if that space was always his home. It was surely meant to be!”
The next morning, I return to find a happy pooch, a very grouchy dad, with an angry command, ” Take that dog right back home with you! He is too much puppy for me! I’m to old to clean up after him!”
Completely stunned at the disappearance of my “perfect Oprah moment” I make an attempt at a last-ditch effort to keep it in tact with, “But daddy, he’s a blessing!” I pleaded. “Well, take the (*$&#) blessing right back home with you!” he repeated, even louder and meaner! And so I did!
Being the loyal animal lover I am, my blessing and I retreat home to re-plan our future. I made a phone call to a friend and we mused on the shocking turn of events the day brought. “What are you going to name your new blessing?” she asked. After throwing out some silly possibilities. “Maybe you should call him Thank You” she chuckles. And so I did.
The name Danka (German for Thank You) was my choice. Many silly, fun, stressful, frustrating, and loving memories with Danka filled the next 12 years. He traveled with me to work. Absolutely loved and appreciated the people who I took care of. He proved himself to be the most loyal and well-trained “un-official” service and therapy dog possible. He not only earned his status as a blessing in my life but also in the many lives of the people who I took care of.
12 years later when Danka and I move in to live with my aging father. The now much older Danka once again took his place beside my dad’s chair and in the following year began to travel less with me and willingly took up a new life of “retirement” beside my elderly dad. He quickly became the “apple of my dad’s eye” sharing meals with dad, and following him loyally from room to room. We often laughed at how my dad’s influence on Danka even turned him into a Bill O’ Reilly fan!
Seriously every night at eight o’ clock Danka would settle in on the couch, put his chin over the arm of the sofa so that he could watch the O’ Reilly Factor. Dad commented to me numerous times, with a chuckle, that my sister and her husband “had Danka a nervous wreck.” he would say. They visited with dad past eight o’clock and they were sitting in Danka’s chosen viewing spot! Danka would get up and pace nervously around the couch. When they finally rose to leave “They didn’t even get to the door before Danka got up and reclaimed his favorite spot and began watching The Factor!” My dad was convinced that he could tell that Danka was genuinely upset if they caused him to miss the “talking points memo”!
I am convinced that Danka’s story and life hold many important lessons however, the message that I hope Danka’s story leaves you with is this ” If you think that you witnessed a blessing like Danka…. believe it and be loyal to it (no matter what happens) in time it will most definitely be revealed.
My dad has since pasted away and about a year later his and my, most loyal friend Danka passed away also. I am wholeheartedly thankful for each and every moment I was able to share with both of them!
I continue to consider Danka one of my most favorite blessings, perhaps the day that I met Danka as well as the years that followed are best explained as Divine Guidance.
With respect, hope, joy and love,
Carmela
People and sheep
have been a complementary pair
from the days of the Bible
to the current county fair
I am a sheep and you are you
I have a job and you benefit too
My ancestry has been around
for many, many years
and working very hard
without many cheers
Carmela Snelbaker 