Carmela Snelbaker

Life sucks I cannot wait until I can live in heaven with my grandson in peace! In saying that I in no way mean I am ready to end things here on earth as I know that the time that I spend here is not to be left to my own control. I have a really deep understanding and belief in God and I render my life to divine guidance, and will carry on until I have an official invitation into Heaven.

So here is my newly acquired lessons, I am feeling the need to put out to the world so that it may help others who may find themselves confronted with similar conditions.

First off as parents please be aware as we are raising our children, every experience we share with them is setting into their memory and leaving a mark. The way that we act in front of them, to them, and with them is a learning experience that they will use as reference in their future life.

There are many adults living in this world who are acting in ways that are aggressive to others. They may or may not know the error of their ways. Some may have been taught this way and others may have simply fallen into these ways by other means. Some of these people may even be in the possession of a badge or other accreditation they may even use to gain your trust.

I have seen people perform extremely well in the position of authority doing amazingly impressive helpful work; and in a matter of hours later I have watched the very same individual fall out of the ability to verbally express a need and resort to abusive techniques to obtain what they needed or what they wanted to obtain.

Abuse is not always about physically attacking someone. Abuse also comes in ways of abuse of authority, manipulation and intimidation. The intimidation abuse is even more frustrating and debilitating to the victim because the abuser will always stop at nothing in attempts to trash and lie about the victim’s explanation of events. The victim will be portrayed as a liar, and a crazy person.

Sometimes it may be mental health issues other times simply problems with authority. Maybe just a mean bully. Weather it is how you were taught from the beginning or simply it is just how you want to act. It is wrong and needs to be stopped and called attention too.

As a victim there are things you can do. You can place a stop all contact with the person at your local police department. I am posting these things because in my own situation these things were not clearly apparent from the beginning and when stress is very high it makes functioning and responding so difficult. When you share your situation with others it gives you great strength and support. It still however can leave you at a loss for what to do next.

Bullies are small people. They need to use manipulation and intimidation as a way to obtain what they want. They do not know how to communicate and they do not have knowledge and respect for boundaries. There are many wonderful books out that can help explain respect for boundaries, respect for another persons’ individual personal space, (I like to call this spacial boundaries) and respect for physical boundaries such as a door, a piece of furniture, or any object.

I find it extremely sad because these individuals can be very nice people and do very good things when they are in a positive “head space” and when they are being admired, looked up to and receiving positive reinforcement, however when normal every day activity is happening and they feel the need for attention they find themselves unable to verbally find words to clearly state what their need is. At that point they may snap into a rage of demands, demeaning attacks using belittling and nasty words of hate and accusations. They will make themselves aggressively threatening and fearful by breaking down any physical boundary between you and them and disrespecting any request for personal space (spacial boundaries). The other person is always made out to be crazy and they will always portray themselves as being completely free from any fault. Their story of the events will be completely different than the actual event with very hateful accusations toward the opposing party.

Please if you ever come across anything similar stand up to them and make them seek help, you have to walk away because they will never accept help from you because they KNOW they are always right. Unless you bring attention to a Bully and his actions he will continue to go about his ways and hurt innocent people and himself over and over again.
Human beings have many more likenesses than differences. Every human has vulnerabilities.
My heart goes out to those in pain, and I truly wish that no one had to experience pain and negative situations ever. If you have or are experiencing difficulties and negative situation, and have ever felt hopeless. Please take a moment to try to look at the situation in a completely different manner.
Step back from your individual pain and examine the situation as though it were happening to someone else. Negative emotions are universal and every living being is vulnerable to them.

What if the uncomfortable experiences that you endure were a divine gift of understanding and compassion that we could use to help the many others who are feeling hopeless? When we use our experiences to reach out and help others, we can open our hearts and minds to become the pathway through which Divine Guidance can lead others toward hope.

Blessings to you and all those who are in pain. Be the change that you wish to see in the world. Open your heart and allow Divine Guidance to lead.

I truly believe that Peace and Respect for all living creation is a very attainable goal. Every person can be a teacher. When you practice respect, you are teaching respect.

Perhaps the answer to attaining this is as the Teacher’s Prayer states. If each one of us starts with teaching just a few people, many and beautiful things, so they can one day teach a few people. As this continues on and on we can make Gratitude, Hope, Joyfulness, and love abound.

With respect, hope, wisdom and love,  Carmela