Carmela Snelbaker

Author of "Thank You For Your Service, Sheep!"
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  • Tag: Bloggers4peace

    • Enough “When Arguing With A Stupid Person Make Sure They Are Not Doing The Same”

      Posted at 10:56 AM by carmelasnelbaker
      Feb 8th

      Every second of Life is filled with a multitude of  wise quotes educational studies and varied opinions of how we can improve ourselves. One could spend countless hours trying to absorb and understand the perfect way to find happiness and Joy.

      The entire time we are researching, digesting and ruminating the many different human opinions on how to live an optimum life filled with Joy the clock continues to tick away and the precious moment of Joy are falling through the hour glass as we study.

      Then someone says something that is drastically in contrast to the peaceful existence the “seeker of Joy” is attempting to understand and develop. The manner in which we respond to this says it ALL. As a seeker of Joy and peace if we become enraged by the comment and at the person who communicated it we loose our focus and we can easily be pulled into the vacuum of despair that will most assuredly do nothing but steal the joy of the present moment and add to the chaos and anxiety in the world.

      Peace and wisdom is attainable only after we deescalate agitated emotional feelings that come naturally in human behavior. As human beings we all want to feel safe and have our opinions respected. We learn by doing. We also learn by the mistakes we make. We have more things in common with each other than we often realize.

      Both sides are at fault when there is a disagreement that is not handled in a respectful manner. I was given a very helpful bit of wisdom from a church sign once many years ago…… “When arguing with a stupid person, make sure he is not doing the same thing”.

      It is a common narcissistic human reaction to want to be heard and have your opinion respected, when you feel you are not being heard or your point is not being taken seriously the narcissistic response often turns to aggressive language and maliciousness and personal attacks to show power. It is a vicious circle that will never result in a peaceful resolution.

      Meditation brings awareness that is available to us all from deep within. It may be referred to in many different ways but the common denominator will always be Love. Stillness and Meditation will connect you with Internal Universal Wisdom. The inner voice I like to refer to as the Whisper of God.

      We will all react at times “Humanly” and with emotions however, we need to forgive each others slip ups and begin again to listen for the word of God to lead us to a better reaction……. (this example came from a book I read once long ago, A Life Worth Breathing)… imagine if you were in a car accident…. You are laying along side the road with torn clothes and bleeding. The ambulance driver arrives jumps out of the ambulance and responds emotionally…….”Oh MY GOD, you are in horrible shape! This is going to be hopeless, no-one will be able to fix this”. No one wants something like this to happen.

      Remember to focus on the moment in front of you and not worry about the imagined moments of the future. We can waste many precious joyful moments when we fantasize, strategize, and organize for the imagined disasters in the future.

      Life is better when we build one another up instead of tear each other down. Teach each other and be willing to learn from each other. Children are watching how we respond and treat political figures and this is how they will believe it is acceptable to treat all humans.

      Be confident that as individual souls living an earthly experience we have enough internal wisdom to get us through our Journey here on earth. Never forget to Be Still and listen to the Higher Wisdom within you instead of responding emotionally from your human ego. Lets not be that ambulance driver with nothing but alarming words proclaiming our demise.

      It is possible to voice one’s opinion without calling the person with the opposing opinion a derogatory name. When we express ourselves with respect we promote a peaceful enviornment. By responding offensively to an oposing opinion we are teaching our children it is acceptable to call people derogatory names, antagonize others who believe differently than you and cause division instead of promote unity and peacefulness.

      theodore-roosevelt-quotes

      With Respect, Hope, Joy and Love,   Carmela

      focus           theodore-rooseveltcompare

      namaste1024

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      Posted in Meditative Writings | Tagged #blog4peace, #CarmelaSnelbaker, #Hope2017, #libtard, #MentalHealth, #PoliticsToday, #TeachingRespect, #trump, #USpolitics, #whitehouse, Bloggers4peace, blogging, blogs, Christianity, Earth, faith, family, inspiration, joy, love, politics, respect, Truth
    • Life Is Full Of Blessings Sometimes We Are Just To Blind To See Them

      Posted at 12:38 PM by carmelasnelbaker
      Oct 30th

      When our hearts see only from the desire of our own eyes, we cannot see  God’s perspective and are blind to his blessings. When you find yourself in the center of a really difficult situation it can seem impossible to understand how the situation could be a blessing in any way, shape, or form. It is then, when you realize that quite possibly YOU are the one THROUGH which the blessing is to COME to the situation. It is within our willingness to become the “bringer” of the blessing that gives us a clear vision of how miraculously difficult situations can be transformed.

      I am so grateful for the many people in my life who have allowed themselves to become the “bringer of blessings” over the years, and I pray that my life and actions are lead by and open to divine guidance so that without question or hesitation I respond to His lead with Truth Wisdom and Love in order to become the “bringer of blessing” to others in need.

      As the driver of your own soul, it is only you that can control where and when you arrive at contentment. By following the path of self desire and believing your own wisdom is greater then your peers, the only place it will lead you to is stuck in mean and angry gear. It is only when you realize and accept the fact that every life matters and deserves to be treated with the same love and respect you apply to your own life, you will then be able to feel true contentment and peace. When your eyes are open to the clarity that love, peace and contentment provides you will no longer want to return to the selfish desire gear you were once stuck within.

      It is difficult to watch the angry mean behavior people live in daily and often become stuck living in for many years. It can take over many many years of peoples lives if you allow it to.

      Like an addiction to a a drug, if you are not willing to take ownership of your part in allowing the nasty ways to continue you will never find peace and contentment. It is not the fault of the ….. situation your in….. the other people around you…. or circumstances out of your control. It takes hard work to look in the mirror and be willing to expose your imperfect qualities. The places in your life where you made mistakes, the times in your life where you were NOT a victim. The times in your life when YOUR actions victimized or caused sadness and hurt to others.

      I have spent the majority of my life working as a caregiver to others. I love the work that I do and have always found a special place in my heart for the challenging behaviors that many individuals present. I have heard the phrase “they have the personality of a snake” used when being prepped on an assignment. I am not above saying that I also have lived through days like this as well…… anyone alive and honest should be willing to admit that there are days in our lives when frustration is high and patience low and all you want to do is off load the hurt and frustration onto someone else….. anyone else…. you just hurt and are stuck in mean gear.

      It takes work to get out of mean gear. Life is so much more beautiful than what is  experienced stuck in this gear. My prayers are that those who find themselves here be willing to look within and make changes to themselves and stop complaining and placing the blame on everyone else.

      Many people who are seriously unhappy do not realize that only they have the ability to improve things. Note to Self… “Do not blame anyone else for the life you are leading, you are in the driver seat of your own soul.

      Being honest with yourself and your own actions is the only way to finding genuine clarity and peace. For some reason many people find it much easier to complain and point a finger at another rather than looking inward and developing  truth, honesty, and humility. Learn to never take your blessings for granted, there will always be someone who is praying for the very thing you are taking for granted. Even when your life is at its most difficult there are always many others in the world who are in the midst of suffering as well.

      Pray for clarity, look in the mirror, be brave enough to see your own faults, examine them and take steps to improve yourself instead of blaming others. Doing these things will lead you toward inner peace and true contentment. The only control a person should ever be attempting to gain is self control. Worrying about, blaming and controlling everyone-else  only causes problems, suffering and pain.

      I am including link to a song below.

      Need You Now  is one of my new favorites. I also am including an interview with the writer where she explains that this song was written as her prayer. She is very honest in sharing struggles that she dealt with in her life and how she was able to overcome them and find true contentment.

      Published on Dec 28, 2013

      Tiffany Arbuckle Lee, known as Plumb, suffered from painful anxiety and panic attacks in high school. She thought of those days of hiding in the bathroom, crying out to God as she wrote the title track of her album, Need You Now. Recently, the song had renewed relevance as her marriage crumbled and she faced divorce. She discusses her career, her music and her reconciliation with her husband. She sings “Need You Now” at 11:47.

      “I wanted there to be a song that said, out loud, it’s OK to cry for help, it’s OK to just scream it at the top of your lungs.”
      -Tiffany Arbuckle Lee (a.k.a Plumb)

      Follow Mimi on Twitter: @MimiGeerges

      With Respect, Hope, Joy and Love,  Carmela

       

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      Posted in Meditative Writings | Tagged #blog4peace, anxiety, Bloggers4peace, Carmela Snelbaker, Christianity, clarity, depression, divine guidance, Divine Love, faith, finding contentment, finding help, happiness, Health, hopefulness, inspiration, Mental health, moving forward, peace, positive, Truth
    • Memory From Past Contains Wisdom and Clarity for Today

      Posted at 4:11 PM by carmelasnelbaker
      May 13th

      Sometimes-you-will-never-know-the-value-of-a-moment-until-it-becomes-a-memory

      Every person’s life has a story line of events that have brought them to where they are today. For reasons I cannot explain the manner in which people move forward from adversity and if they move forward varies tremendously.

      I remember meeting the kindest elderly lady. Her husband had passed away and her only daughter had been murdered many years before. She was living alone with no relatives living to assist in her care.

      Her and her husband had lived through traumatic years that involved a search for their missing adult child and court trials with horrific details of the event.

      As she began telling me some history from her past, she entered another room and returned carrying a photo of her daughters wedding. Holding this one treasured photo in her hand, she shared with me the memory of her beautiful daughter as well as the photo of the person who murdered her. It was her daughters wedding photo and she had been murdered by her husband.

      While listening to her explanation of the years of pain she and her husband lived through, and her much repeated statement, “I had a good husband, he took such good care of me” my heart was breaking over the thought of living with and through such pain. She explained that her faith in God was the only thing that helped her through the terrible experience.

      She had such a gentle personality and was definitely one of the sweetest people I ever took care of. I loved my visits with her. She sometimes would very sweetly express frustration with the many decisions and changes being made for her safety. “They came in today and locked my basement door so I cannot go down to do my own laundry, and they turned the electric off to the stove and brought me a microwave, I would rather use my stove.” she said.

      With almost every complaint she would end it with “I had a good husband, he took very good care of me.”

      “He still is!” I told her. “He is the one sending all these people to your door, so you don’t get hurt.”  “He is watching from heaven thinking, I better have them lock the basement door so Mary doesn’t fall and hurt herself!” She laughed sweetly at the thought and then said “You’re right”!

      She amazed me with her strength and ability to move past such a traumatic event with such grace and peace. In hearing the horrific details of the murder, it was hard for me to imagine being able to get past the rage and trauma that must have consumed them both! She very peacefully explained it as Gods Grace. My faith in God is what helped me through.

      Although her family had passed away, she had many friends who visited regularly and  she had volunteered many hours of service within her community helping others. She still remained actively a part of a prayer chain and reached beyond her own situation to help others.

      This person amazed me with her ability to move forward in spite of her difficult experiences. She was at peace and free from any bitterness, always appreciative and grateful and kindly showed concern for everyone she met! I am so thankful I had the chance to get to know her and learn from her wisdom!

      When you quiet the noise of the world and focus on listening to other people and their experiences Heavenly Wisdom unfolds before you, and your path in life starts revealing itself and making sense. Every experience and encounter in our lives is significant! Every person we meet no matter how many words may be exchanged, or how short of time we spend with them, has an impact on and in our lives. It may be many years later till you realize that the pieces of Wisdom you received at that moment in time is what is giving you clarity and Wisdom for today.

      I met a number of people who would tell me repeatedly about negative events in their past. Almost as though they allowed the negative events to define who they were. Being stuck in the negative event gave them something to talk about, and telling someone of a time when they were a victim would gain them sympathy and make them feel cared about.

      Whether the stories were true or made up would not matter, what they needed was someone to care. Unlike the elderly lady they had very few friends and instead of reaching out to people they closed themselves off from people. Instead of sharing feelings and having a discussion they totally shut down any incoming information by leaving or by not allowing the other person to talk. They retaliated with very unkind accusations, belittling and demeaning words. They resort to attempting to gain control over others with passive aggression. When they later retell the event the story will be very one sided and they will be portrayed as a total victim of the other person.

      Could this possibly be explained as a  survival technique that is taught or learned as a result of living in fear. If each of us would have the ability to go back in time and be exposed to a completely different set of circumstances during our formative years would our lives be different? By saying this I am in no way placing any blame on any one adult individual in a child’s life, we shouldn’t truly evaluate a situation without considering the entire influencing factors and  life circumstances.

      One of the most important things we can teach a child is that he is Loved and to use words to communicate feelings. A toddler who doesn’t speak will simply take a toy from another child. If they have no way to communicate they may hit or bite to get the point across that they are not happy. Peaceful solutions need to be taught. Communication of feeling needs to be encouraged. Abusive words and intimidation tactics are equally as bad as physical abuse and can leave scars internally that can be harder to heal than a broken bone.

      the tongue hurts

      Memories can be twofold they can be awesome and they can also be traumatic. Make sure as a parent we are building a future full of fun and happy memories for our children to be able to draw from in their future lives as adults. But most importantly teach them they are Loved, and how to Live in Love and not fear or hate.

      It is impossible to live through life without having any bad experiences, painful, traumatic or fearful encounters.  An important part of healing after adversity is being able to reach out to others, communicate your feelings, and draw upon the positive events and memories from our past.

      As parents we hold many treasured moments in our minds when our children or grandchildren say things or do things that make us smile. Sharing these moments with others and passing the stories on to our children helps us to compose an encyclopedia of our life’s moments. Freezing them in time for future reference. It is a tangible reminder that we were loved and appreciated.

      Teach your children to pray. A simple prayer request to “take the scary stuff away” gave Wyatt great comfort, and our family saftey ring of peace serves as a visible reminder to reach out in prayer to receive the Peace of the Lord that surpasses all understanding.

      Please pray for those in need of support. Never underestimate the power of Divine Love and Guidance. Share life experiences and Wisdom with others and encourage others to seek understanding and guidance beyond the natural human boundaries. When you make the choice to welcome higher consciousness into your life you will experience  extraordinary beauty and vision among simple moments of common existence. Negatives will turn into positives and you will find the most truest levels of Peace and Joy.

      With Respect, Hope, Joy and Love,  Carmela

       

      forpeace6

      We may not always see eye to eye but we can walk hand in hand and promote peace

       

       

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      Posted in Meditative Writings | Tagged #blog4peace, abuse, Bloggers4peace, Carmela Snelbaker, courage, DPchallenge, God, gratitude, hope, inspiration, inspiring, joy, kindness, love, Memories, peace, PTSD, respect, trauma, verbal abuse, wisdom
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