So many times I hear many people complain about the “children of today” being so self centered and having grand feelings of “entitlement”.
As a caregiver to many adults with disabilities who has had to read so many childhood medical histories that have included tragic childhood abuses……… I feel I need to caution people on casting such a judgmental eye on “today’s youth”! Without having access and details of each individual’s past, one has NO IDEA what another person may have lived through and may be actively recovering from.
The past 7 months have been, a very messy, emotional fueled confusing yet also a beautiful unfolding of stories within a number of peoples lives including my own.
As I write this in the middle of the night I am sitting in a room with a broken door lock. That lock was intentionally broken by another individual who was angry and attempting to gain access to me. I cannot actually recall exact events leading up to the reason why I felt the need to have a locked door between me and that person, but details of that encounter bears no importance to the True basis of this story.
I have spent many years de-escalating out of control individuals when working within the behavioral health field, and even experienced minor injuries intervening to protect other individuals. Even though you have extensive training, and know the steps to take if you find yourself in a hair pull or aggressive attack ……. when the boundary encroachment occurs within a personal relationship the injuries one experiences are of a completely different nature.
Relationship boundary aggression wounds and recovery are very different than the step by step training of how to get out of a hair pull, or physical strongholds that you may encounter while protecting others from a violent outburst. It is possible to walk away and continue on once free from any further threat but never really address the wound or fear left behind. Simply avoiding ever taking a chance at another disaster happening again can be a pretty easy fix. When you have a Love for people and enjoy caring for others you can get great satisfaction from helping others.
In the process of meeting, working with and getting to know a very sweet and beautiful person just 7 months ago, It has made me realize the simple broken “lock disaster” of the relatively recent past years had left some pretty major scars and personal space/relationship issues.
But less about me and more about my beautiful young friend who is making some very positive improvement! She is taking HUGE steps toward her own independence and away from vary harsh boundary encroachments of her past.
Every once in awhile I get a very unhappy and distraught call and spend some time discussing some positive ways of de-stressing or redirecting the frustrations, But the happy calls of excitement and pride of accomplishment are the ones that warm my heart the most and make me smile.
Life is never going to be perfect in anyones life and everyone most likely has had and will continue to have difficult times to overcome.
The beauty is in the fact that once we “weather a storm” and experience a brighter day….It helps us to recognize situations and times of struggle within other peoples lives, even if that person is not fully understanding what is happening to them and are not able to clearly verbalize how they may be in need of help.
Possibly our personal experiences and scars can be a beautiful blessing to another, if we are able to recognize and put words to a situation another person appears to be experiencing however is unable to fully comprehend and verbalize themselves. Because of this I suppose we should be thankful for our scars and the ability to help others thrive.
With Respect, Hope, Joy, and Love, Carmela
Carmela Snelbaker 