Carmela Snelbaker

Tag: family

• Scars, Lasting Aftereffect of Trouble, Suffering or Trauma

  Posted at 11:20 PM by carmelasnelbaker

  May 1st

  

  What determines if our scars and wounds will leave us with wisdom or damage?  Whether we live our lives in love or in fear the probability of pain and heartbreak are equally apparent. Our hearts can break and be easily wounded when we reach out to others in love and we are hurt. Physical as well as emotional hurts can be very hard to bounce back from. There are times in our life when we acquire abusive hurts in our formative years of life that may make dramatic differences in how our lives will develop in the future.

  As the sun comes up tomorrow morning it will be the start of a new day. The world will begin anew in many ways. Many innocent children will be born and many human souls will leave their earthly bodies behind as they are welcomed into heavenly presence.

  Each day brings us very limited and precious moments. We have the ability to choose how to use these moments. As adults we can make choices. We can choose to follow our limited human brains or we can search for higher enlightenment and understanding by opening our hearts to Divine Love.

  Living in God’s Divine Love fills our hearts and minds with a wisdom that surpasses all understanding. It fills us with a strength to Live in Truth and strength to endure the untruthfulness of others life may send our way.

  As an innocent child we are born with a heart of Love. The growth and development of that Love is in the hands of the adults who surround us in our most formative years.

  In my past experiences working in the mental healthcare field I have worked with many adults who were scarred by abuse in their formative years as a child. Reading the many tragic life histories of these children brings tears and leaves a sorrow on your heart that is impossible to forget.

  The child is innately programmed to trust, love and confide in those that care and nurture them. If those in control are harming them, the child does not have the proper developmental tools to understand they are being mistreated. They are only beginning to learn about the world. Their world is love, eat, sleep and play. Learning enters into their lives as they progress in their growth stages.

  “Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us.”~ Marianne Williamson~

  It is never to late to choose to look outside of yourself for Divine Guidance. Open your heart to Divine Wisdom and Living in Truth.

  “We are not held back by the Love we didn’t receive in the past, but by the Love we are not extending in the present.”   ~ Marianne Williamson Quote

  Please pray that the children who have been wounded from misguided adults are blessed with Divine healing of the scars from abuse.  Pray that adults in need may find Wisdom, Understanding, Peace and guidance to seek Divine Love so they may experience love in themselves and others.

  “Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” – Helen Keller

  With Respect, Joy, Peace and Love,    Carmela

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  Posted in Meditative Writings | Tagged #blog4peace, carmela, Child, compassion, dignity, divine guidance, Divine Love, DPchallenge, family, gratitude, hope, inspiration, kindness, Living in Love, love, peace, respect, scars

• Offer Whispers of Truth and Love

  Posted at 4:08 PM by carmelasnelbaker

  Apr 25th

  

  Have you ever been in a situation where you are among a group of individuals that you have never met before and you feel drawn to a certain individual? As time passes and you have the ability to talk with them you discover that you share something in common with them. There would have been no way of knowing this through simple eye contact and a smile, but it was intuition that I like to refer to as a Whisper From God.

  More times then not the truest and most beautiful messages come to us as a whisper.

  During a lifetime, individuals will experience very deep hurts. Painful experiences that we carry within our hearts that we will never get over. Emotional heartbreak is not a wound that will ever really heal. You will always miss the loved ones that are no longer with you. We will always feel loss from tragedy. It lives beneath our skin as a secret message written on our hearts. This secret heart message acts like a magnet when God introduces us to someone who has a similar secret message written on their hearts.

  I have found that in the most difficult times of my life God has introduced me to the most beautiful and helpful people. It is as if God has an Intensive Care Unit. I am protected completely from adversity and I am introduced to the most loving people who share wisdom that I need, and it is the magnetic ability of the secret heart messages that we carry that connects us with others living with major painful experiences on there hearts as well. This can only be explained as a result of Living in Love and allowing Divine Guidance to lead you.

  Please pray that those who live in fear, turn off the noise of everyday life, stop reciting memorized prayers long enough to simply be in quiet and peace, open their hearts and lives to Divine Love and Guidance and listen for the Whispers of God.

   

  With Respect, Joy, Hope and Love,   Carmela

   

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  Posted in Meditative Writings | Tagged #blog4peace, Carmela Snelbaker, courage, divine guidance, DPchallenge, family, gratitude, hope, inspiration, joy, kindness, Live in Love, love, madebycarmela, peace, respect, whisper

• Love Joy and Peace on Earth

  Posted at 9:49 PM by carmelasnelbaker

  Apr 22nd

  

  As we celebrate Earth Day today we must keep in mind that in order to continue to exist here on earth we must search deep within our hearts to access a Love and understanding greater than our human selves. We must reach past the fear and allow our eyes and hearts to be open to Love, Respect, Hope and Joy. Human wisdom is limited by fear. Divine wisdom surpasses all understanding and is only attainable by reaching beyond your human ego and allowing the Divine Love of God to lead our hearts to Live in Love.

  Many humans live their entire lives relying on their own wisdom. Believing that they know all and are wise enough to control their lives’ journey and in doing so their actions and attempts at survival trespass the boundaries of others they meet along the way.

  Living in this human survival mode you are unable to see how your actions effect those around you. You will only be able to see what you feel you need to do to survive.  When you are living in the state of survival you are living in fear. You will have a heightened sensitivity. You may react to situations as if you need to defend yourself. Often times when you are in this heightened state of fear you will react aggressively to situations that never even included any hostility or unfavorable criticism. Your mind is simply so heightened and ready to respond that you begin to identify any response as a threat.

  This manner of living will bring only negative results. Can all of the hate and conflict that is going on in the world today be caused by human beings Living in fear and relying on human wisdom alone?

  The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.
  Gandhi

  Weather it is one individual in a destructive relationship, or a leader of a country, allowing another human to cause conflict, abuse, and intimidation and trespass upon other humans’ rights and boundaries is wrong and must be confronted and stopped. The only way to stand up against fear is with the power of Divine Love.

  It is only after we allow our hearts to be open to Divine Love that we will be able to live and act in love, have empathy toward others and move beyond simple tolerance and embrace and celebrate the rich dimensions of diversity contained within each of us.

  God provides us with the strength to keep going and opens our eyes to reveal awesome beauty and fills our hearts with Joy, peace, love, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness,  goodness, and self control.

  With Respect, Joy, Hope, and Love,    Carmela

   

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  Posted in Meditative Writings | Tagged #blog4peace, Carmela Snelbaker, courage, DPchallenge, Earth, Earth day, family, gratitude, hope, inspiration, joy, kindness, love, peace, positivity, respect
• 

  Standing Firm In the Midst of Chaos

  Posted at 9:18 AM by carmelasnelbaker

  Apr 10th

  Might it take being in the midst of chaos and pain that opens a heart and mind to a greater and deeper understanding of the love and connection that we share with every living being on this earth?

  If this is truly the case no wonder so many people walk around this earth filled with such anger, hate, and animosity toward each other and themselves as well. This is a level of pain no one ever wants to endure. It would be much easier to simply continue on and remain at the same level of existence and conform to a continuance of being, rather than working toward a better existence.

  Making a choice to part ways by standing firm against manipulation and intimidation is not an easy journey, but it is a journey that is necessary. No one should ever be asked to stifle their voice, beliefs and opinions.

  Denying emotional responses to another is deeply abusive. Where there is control there is no love only fear.

  In our lives we will come across many chances to compromise or stand up for what we believe to be right. As human beings we improve ourselves by increasing our level of consciousness by continuing to search for wisdom and enlightenment and living a more spiritual and Love based life.

  Focus on the good. Stand up for what is right and choose to live in Love and not fear. People are fascinating. Our individual experiences and our individual opinions are what make us unique. Every time we meet someone new is a beautiful chance to learn and grow from each others’ experiences. Every human being on the earth has a story to tell. As we open our hearts and share our experiences we not only are teaching others by sharing what life has dealt us but also helping ourselves lighten the hurts that we may be carrying with us from those experiences.

  I recently read an article on emotions the following paragraph is taken from their text. Be strong and chose Love, by opening your heart to divine guidance you will gain the strength to do what is right. It is your choice to make.

  There are only two basic emotions that we all experience, love and fear.  All other emotions are variations of these two emotions.  Thoughts and behavior come from either a place of love, or a place of fear.  Anxiety, anger, control, sadness, depression, inadequacy, confusion, hurt, lonely, guilt, shame, these are all fear-based emotions.  Emotions such as joy, happiness, caring, trust, compassion, truth, contentment, satisfaction, these are love-based emotions.

  “Pain is not a sign of weakness, but bearing it alone is a choice to grow weak” -Lorie Deschene

  With Respect, Love, Joy, and Hope,   Carmela

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  Posted in Meditative Writings | Tagged courage, daily prompt, DPchallenge, family, God, gratitude, inspiration, kindness, peace, positivity

• How many times do YOU say no?

  Posted at 3:31 PM by carmelasnelbaker

  Aug 8th

  

  I love when I read a post and it brings up a past experience that relates to the situation but in a very different way. I recently read a very good blog post by candidkay about clearing out the negative in our lives and making room for more positive influences. The link to her post is here. Please be sure to read it, I am sure you will be glad you did!

  I am always both so amazed and fascinated at how alike and yet totally different our lives can be.  No two people are ever exactly alike. Just like Dr. Seuss says, “Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.

  I must tell you of an individual who I am very grateful to have met. I will refer to him here as Phillip. When I first met Phillip I was told  “You must never use the word no when you talk to Phillip”. Phillip had a lot of energy. He was about 6 foot tall. When happy he would sing, clap his hands, cheer and had a beautiful smile and laugh. When he was angry he was very strong. When agitated he would put his pointer finger out as a child does to resemble a gun, and begin shooting pshhhhh, pshhhhh, pshhhhh. If not calmed down fairly quickly and redirected from the cause of his anger, it could escalate into physical attacks on others as well as major property damage. He had a diagnosis of explosive disorder. Minor agitations could quickly grow into a major outburst without proper intervention.

  Some memories of my first week with Phillip went a bit like this. Phillip talked in broken sentences. “Orange Juice?” he asked.  “sure” I walk to the refrigerator to get him some.  I very calmly realize we are out of orange juice and in a happy light hearted way I reply “Oh no, we are out of orange juice. How about some grape?”  I don’t think I even realized that the word “no” flowed out of my mouth. “Why you  pshhhh, pshhhh, pshhhhh,  Thank heavens a veteran staff was training me. I look over at them questioningly “whats wrong?” I asked. “You said no” she said as she very calmly cracks a smile. So what do I do but respond all nervously “oh no, now what do we do?”  I knew this would be a bit of a challenge but good Lord it had only been one minute and I had him upset and already used the word no twice! Being trained to work at this home was both extremely funny and stressful at the same time!

  Believe it or not, this very quickly became one of my favorite places to work.  Although it is not easy getting used to seeing someone rushing toward a housemate to grab them and 90% of the “usual” statements used to respond to a situation like this were off limits. I learned to adapt very quickly with  positive reinforcements and redirection.  The “game plan” was when he is agitated simply offer him a choice to do something that he enjoys doing, like saying the word Ghostbusters (one of his favorite movies) and then getting it and putting it on for him to watch.

  I worked with him for a number of years and very quickly learned what things made him happy, calmed him and redirected his mood. One of my most successful calming plans for Phillip was singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands. Running in between two angry individuals grabbing the “attackers” hands looking directly into his eyes and breaking into a song became my #1 go to plan for keeping Peace. 🙂 Phillip loved going to church and he loved when you put his name into a verse….” He’s got  ______ _________, in his hands”.  It was a perfect example of the Lords peace in action.

  He is such a shining example of how positive energy can fill our lives with hope and peace. As candidkay put it we are all responsible for the energy we bring.  Are you the screaming meanie in your family, berating those around you for not serving your every need? Own it. Start where you are. Make it better. Also take care not to let others suck you into a their negative vortex.

  Although Phillip’s thought process was very childlike I truly believe he understood there is no room for negative energy in our lives. We need to weed out the negative! Like bad weeds in a garden, negative people and thoughts prevent a person from growing, blossoming and being productive.

  We should all take a lesson from Phillip, get creative, be more positive, say no less and look to Jesus to bring you peace 🙂

  Luke 24:36 While they were still talking about this, Jesus himself stood among them and said to them “Peace be with you”

   

  With respect, hope, joy and love,   Carmela

   

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  Posted in Meditative Writings | Tagged B4Peace, Carmela Snelbaker, Christianity, family, God, Healing, hope, inspiration, Jesus, kindness, love, Mental health, negative energy, peace, positive energy

• Our Family’s Safety Ring of Peace

  Posted at 5:28 PM by carmelasnelbaker

  Feb 20th

  

  Much time has passed since my last post. I seem to have been at a loss for words since the passing of my grandson. Grief is a very strange thing. There is much written about it and many thoroughly explained steps of grief are defined, but there is no quick recovery and each event is so very different.

  Several months before Wyatt’s passing he was very anxious and afraid. He was having bad dreams and medications were causing some hallucinations. I happened to be wearing a thin silver band ring with the word PEACE engraved on it. I gave him my ring, and had a conversation with him.  “This can be your safety ring. Do you remember in church how we share the peace with our neighbor?” Shaking hands and saying “Peace be with you”. “Yes” he answered. “Wear the ring to remind you that you are safe and fold your hands and say, Dear God, Please take all the scary stuff away.” The ring reminds us that we’re not alone comfort is just a prayer away. The ring and prayers brought him comfort.
  We also talked about having a family ring made. He could chose what he wanted it to look like and say. We each would have a ring and wear it so even when we are not together we can wear and feel safe. He discussed the ring with mom dad and sisters and they decided on having a silver band with a small heart stamped on the band and inside the band it would say forever loved. We had them made and wore them. We were comforted by the connection of the ring and the reminder we are not alone. The ring continues to bring me comfort I treasure the daily reminder of my loving grandson’s presence and the comfort of our loving God.

  With respect, hope, joy and love,  Carmela

  

   

   

   

   

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  Posted in Family Stories, Meditative Writings | Tagged Carmela Snelbaker, challenges, children, Christianity, courage, dignity, family, grandchildren, hope, hospice, joy, loss of child, love, peace

• My Dad’s Sense Of Humor

  Posted at 4:08 PM by carmelasnelbaker

  Aug 4th

  As I was reading another bloggers recent post, I was reminded of a memory of my dad. Since this blog is an old scrapbook that I am sharing of his, I thought I would share a bit of his sense of humor here as well.

  My dad was a very avid reader. From current news, political writings, science magazines, to novels. If he had idle time he was reading. As a father he loved to share his wisdom whenever he could. He also had a very funny sense of humor.

  I moved back in to live with my dad when my dad was in his eighties. Living with my dad in his later years created many more memories to add to those from childhood. I am not sure why but, my dad often felt the need to comment on my outfits. He sometimes would tell me that my outfit looked nice. Other times he wouldn’t necessarily say that he didn’t like it, but rather leave me with a statement that would spark a thought. Sometimes I would be in the mood to chuckle about it, and other times I did not appreciate the humor 🙂  Later, I must admit, I would remember it and have to chuckle to myself.

  One particular morning I was dressed to leave for work. As I came out the hall my dad was sitting on his recliner and stated, ” My God, is that what they are wearing these days? You look like you’re dressed for a Civil War re-enactment!” I was rushed that morning and not exactly welcoming his “what not to wear” opinions:)  I continued on to work. As I went about my work day the memory of his comment did cause me to chuckle. Because I work with many elderly people I thought they would also get a chuckle from his comment.  As I showed up to greet them, I started my own senior citizen poll on the subject…, “Do I look like I’m dressed for a Civil War re-enactment? ” No-one actually was brave enough to agree with him, although it certainly brought about some smiles and a lighthearted conversation.

  I enjoyed, and still do enjoy memories of my dad’s silliness, and his ability to calmly make a one line remark that would bring about a smile and a chuckle.

  With respect, hope, joy and love,

  Carmela

  This post was written for the daily prompt: back to the future. Write a story about a person or a thing that is out of place. Although I didn’t think I was out of place, my dad did 🙂

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  Posted in Family Stories | Tagged children, civil war, dad, daily post challenge, emotions, families, family, gratitude, happy familiy, love, sense of humor

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