I am beginning to believe that developing a good sense of humor as a child just might be one of the most important puzzle pieces to a successful and healthy future.
Even though we attempt to plan for our future, life has a way of dealing out unpredictable surprises. In the midst of the most sad and serious moments I have had to endure, I like to believe God is the one sending me a silly moment that makes me chuckle to lighten the burden.
As a parent and grandparent I believe It is so important to encourage a child’s sense of humor. Be silly, read silly books with your child, make humor and laughter a part of each day. It is never to late to teach a child to develop a healthy sense of humor. I heard someone say once that a good sense of humor in life, is like shock absorbers are to vehicles. It can take away some of those nasty, unpleasant bumps. It truly is as Bill Cosby puts it, once you find laughter, know matter how painful your situation might be you can survive it. Be sure to make many fun and silly memories, so your child has many to select from when experiencing a difficult time!
As a caregiver I have seen the positive effects of humor. It can diffuse aggression and anger, as well as turn tears into a smile. It also has a calming effect when someone feels nervous or embarrassed. Small children respond to “Oh no, You must have forgot to put your smile on this morning!” Causing the child to stop and think about getting dressed and physically putting a smile on, just might be enough to redirect the unhappy thought and mood and engage them in a playful imaginary hunt for their lost smile.
A very important thing to remember is humor must never be hurtful or disrespectful. It is possible to recognize funny situations or find humor in a funny story without making fun of a person. I really believe that our “bullying” situations in our schools are simply misguided children, attempting to get people to like them or get noticed by making others laugh, at the expense of another person. I have seen adults with low self-esteem attempt to make themselves look better by tearing another person down and then boasting about their own abilities. Sadly many times they are not at all aware of what they are doing. This is simply what they have felt they needed to do and have been doing it their entire lives.
I found a beautiful blog: Sending Hope by: Tracy Hodge That speaks of this very issue. She puts it so perfectly that I am feeling the need to share her words. This is how she put it… Great people, truly great people, are not afraid of the greatness of others. They are not intimidated nor are they threatened when others around them succeed or even surpass them. Great people enjoy lifting others up and never mind showing others the way. On the other hand, small people like to be surrounded by other small people. Small people tear others down in laughter and seldom offer a kind word unless it is to flatter someone in their favor. Small people gossip out of jealousy and have no concept of loyalty. (You can read the entire blog by clicking here)
Mother Teresa once said: The fruit of Love is service, The fruit of service is peace, And peace begins with a smile
Two very important things to remember….. Always remember before you put on a frown, make absolutely certain there are no smiles available. and…..If you meet someone without a smile, give them one of yours. You may never know what a positive affect that may bring to the person who has none.
With respect, hope, joy and love, Carmela
Carmela Snelbaker 
13 thoughts on “The Curve Of A Smile Can Set A Lot Of Things Straight”
Jeffrey H. King
Humor is good, but I’m always reminded of what I learned in Literary Criticism: Pain + Distance = Humor
To your point about kids who try to be funny, but are hurtful instead. Always include that “distance” in the recipe!
carmelasnelbaker
Thanks so much for your comment! I must tell you this was originally written several years ago. Your comment has my mind really thinking from a number of different angles now.
In some ways I suppose using distance can be a way of avoiding pain by placing distance between your heart and the target of humor, and in another respect once we have dealt with and managed the pain with time being the distance (from the actual event of the pain) referring back from “survived pain” allows us to refer to it with humor or “relief of survival”.
Could your comment also be referring to using humor in avoidance of pain?
Thank you again for your thoughts and comments. I love when someone makes me think again in a completely different way 🙂
With respect, Carmela
Jeffrey H. King
I wrote a blog about humor last May. Here’s the link: https://jeffreyhking.wordpress.com/2016/05/28/make-em-laugh/
I’m glad to hear I gave something back! I always at least try to say more than “great post!” after someone pours their heart out. 🙂 Keep ’em coming!
carmelasnelbaker
I love your post. It has me thinking and smiling!
Jeffrey H. King
I have a few posts about emotions you might enjoy. Just trying to keep the dialogue going! 🙂
https://jeffreyhking.wordpress.com/2016/07/07/hate-and-love/
https://jeffreyhking.wordpress.com/2014/04/13/true-love-5/
carmelasnelbaker
Awesome thank you 🙂
Jeffrey H. King
Sorry – I just realized I didn’t really answer your question. We might be entering a semantics exercise. I think I use humor to CREATE the distance. The sooner I can find the humor, the sooner the distance is “employed.” So am I avoiding it? Not really. I numb it by understanding it better with distance. Time = perspective, right? The sooner I widen my perspective, the better I can “understand” and deal with my pain in a “holistic,” long term approach, view it with a wider lens.
I’m enjoying the give and take here! I hope you find this helpful. I’m interested in your thoughts to this.
carmelasnelbaker
I loved your post! I quickly read it before leaving for work this morning. Your wisdom on this has stirred my thoughts and my mind truly wants to put words to and better understand the level of comfort and easy that can be gotten from humor and also the manner in which it also can be used as well in avoidance.
I believe maybe there is a major importance that gets relayed in tone and mannerisms (a genuine non threatening playful kindness) that plays an important role in how the humor is received by others.
I have seen many times individuals become “offended” by humor at times by misinterpreting the words and intent be hind the moment.
I am so fascinated by people and emotions. I must tell you I believe it is so important in caregiving and healing. I don’t have the time at this moment but there are events that come to mind that I want to ponder these “equations” on. It is amazing how a different perspective on situation can bring a completely new idea to light. Thanks for intriguing my thoughts. More to come on this conversation I am sure 🙂
Jeffrey H. King
2nd & 3rd paragraphs are spot on – tone and mannerism! I get in trouble sometimes because I can be pretty dry.
Wisdom?? Oh, my. Well ,here’s my answer to that: https://jeffreyhking.wordpress.com/2014/06/08/wisdom-or/
carmelasnelbaker
Would you be willing to send me an email link? I would be interested in getting your thoughts on a recent event.
Jeffrey H. King
jeffjulieandco@aol.com
Logy-stoic
Very catchy title and very good writing. By the way, I would like to thank you for following my blog. You are my 10th follower. It may be a small number but it really means a lot for a newbie like me. Thank you for the support.
carmelasnelbaker
Thanks for the kind comment. You are very welcome for the follow. I have learned to truly enjoy and appreciate reading personal blogs. We don’t always realize how much we have in common with others. We have a way of placing a protective shell around ourselves, I suppose as prevention of painful encounters. Once our eyes are opened to how much we have in common with others life becomes a bit more enjoyable. Blessings to you and your blog 🙂