Carmela Snelbaker

Author of "Thank You For Your Service, Sheep!"
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  • Tag: anti-bullying

    • The Curve Of A Smile Can Set A Lot Of Things Straight

      Posted at 11:19 AM by carmelasnelbaker
      Sep 21st

            Through Humor, you soften some of the worst blows that life delivers, and once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be you can survive it. …. Bill Cosby     

      I am beginning to believe that developing a good sense of humor as a child just might be one of the most important puzzle pieces to a successful and healthy future.ImageEven though we attempt to plan for our future, life has a way of dealing out unpredictable surprises. In the midst of the most sad and serious moments I have had to endure, I like to believe God is the one sending me a silly moment that makes me chuckle to lighten the burden.

      As a parent and grandparent I believe It is so important to encourage a child’s sense of humor. Be silly, read silly books with your child, make humor and laughter a part of each day. It is never to late to teach a child to develop a healthy sense of humor. I heard someone say once that a good sense of humor in life, is like shock absorbers are to vehicles. It can take away some of those nasty, unpleasant bumps.  It truly is as Bill Cosby puts it, once you find laughter, know matter how painful your situation might be you can survive it. Be sure to make many fun and silly memories, so your child has many to select from when experiencing a difficult time!

      As a caregiver I have seen the positive effects of humor. It can diffuse aggression and anger, as well as turn tears into a smile. It also has a calming effect when someone feels nervous or embarrassed. Small children respond to “Oh no, You must have forgot to put your smile on this morning!” Causing the child to stop and think about getting dressed and physically putting a smile on, just might be enough to redirect the unhappy thought and mood and engage them in a playful imaginary hunt for their lost smile.

      A very important thing to remember is humor must never be hurtful or disrespectful. It is possible to recognize funny situations or find humor in a funny story without making fun of a person. I really believe that our “bullying” situations in our schools are simply misguided children, attempting to get people to like them or get noticed by making others laugh, at the expense of another person. I have seen adults with low self-esteem attempt to make themselves look better by tearing another person down and then boasting about their own abilities. Sadly many times they are not at all aware of what they are doing. This is simply what they have felt they needed to do and have been doing it their entire lives.

      I found a beautiful blog: Sending Hope  by: Tracy Hodge That speaks of this very issue. She puts it so perfectly that I am feeling the need to share her words. This is how she put it… Great people, truly great people, are not afraid of the greatness of others. They are not intimidated nor are they threatened when others around them succeed or even surpass them. Great people enjoy lifting others up and never mind showing others the way. On the other hand, small people like to be surrounded by other small people. Small people tear others down in laughter and seldom offer a kind word unless it is to flatter someone in their favor. Small people gossip out of jealousy and have no concept of loyalty. (You can read the entire blog by clicking here)

      Holding The Sky

      Mother Teresa once said: The fruit of Love is service, The fruit of service is peace, And peace begins with a smileImage

      Two very important things to remember…..  Always remember before you put on a frown, make absolutely certain there are no smiles available. and…..If you meet someone without a smile, give them one of yours. You may never know what a positive affect that may bring to the person who has none.

      With respect, hope, joy and love,    Carmela

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      Posted in Meditative Writings | Tagged anti-bullying, beauty, Carmela Snelbaker, Child, children, compassion, courage, dignity, Divine Love, emotions, family, gratitude, hope, humor, inspiration, joy, kindness, love, Mental health, peace, positivity, respect, sense of humor, smile, wisdom
    • Terrorism, Intimidation Versus Living in Peace

      Posted at 1:34 AM by carmelasnelbaker
      May 12th

      peace

      In today’s world Intimidation seems to be a common plan of action. If you feel that your existence is not being praised or illuminated, or your cause is not widely recognized it appears that the act of intimidation seems to be the go to plan of action. AKA Bullying or Terrorism.

      Are we teaching this to our children? Or Is this a natural human reaction from fear? Is a person who doesn’t get their own way, who acts out with scare tactics, terrorizing or threatening behaviors toward others born with this behavior or were they taught this way? Does it really matter?

      When another human being or group is threatening others using scare tactics, whether it is physical threats, death threats or law suits in order to get their own selfish way or to prevent the truth from being revealed it is simply wrong and will be exposed for the evil intent it originates from in the end. Anyone who attempts intimidation with harmful intent will fail. Love and truth will be revealed in the end. Living in Love brings you peace. Living a life hiding from lies and attempting to intimidate people will never bring you peace and joy and will never prevail in the end no matter what the outcome.

      Everyone has a choice in life. You can choose to bring Joy and Peace into your life and others, or you can choose to create distress and anguish within yourself and others. Those who live their lives in Love, wishing no harm for others will prevail. Living in fear and lies will never bring you Peace and Joy.

      As a world we need to find strength in Love. We need to join together in Love. Any group of friends, family, and community who stand together in Love have the strength to stand up against any wrong doing or misguided attacks.

      Please pray for the angry misguided groups that threaten terroristic ways upon others. Pray for the Joy and Peace from Heaven to reach earth and the wisdom of Divine Love to be revealed to All. We need to treasure the lives of each other. In Gods eyes we are all the same. No one is more special than the other. Life is precious we need to treasure each moment and stop attacking each other!

       

      With Respect, Hope, Joy and Love,  Carmela

       

       

       

      forpeace6

      We may not always see eye to eye but we can walk hand in hand and promote peace

       

       

       

       

       

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      Posted in Meditative Writings | Tagged anti terrorism, anti-bullying, Carmela Snelbaker, Divine Love, love, peace, power of love, Truth
    • Life Sucks, Go Get Help :)

      Posted at 5:08 PM by carmelasnelbaker
      Apr 7th

      Life sucks I cannot wait until I can live in heaven with my grandson in peace! In saying that I in no way mean I am ready to end things here on earth as I know that the time that I spend here is not to be left to my own control. I have a really deep understanding and belief in God and I render my life to divine guidance, and will carry on until I have an official invitation into Heaven.

      So here is my newly acquired lessons, I am feeling the need to put out to the world so that it may help others who may find themselves confronted with similar conditions.

      First off as parents please be aware as we are raising our children, every experience we share with them is setting into their memory and leaving a mark. The way that we act in front of them, to them, and with them is a learning experience that they will use as reference in their future life.

      There are many adults living in this world who are acting in ways that are aggressive to others. They may or may not know the error of their ways. Some may have been taught this way and others may have simply fallen into these ways by other means. Some of these people may even be in the possession of a badge or other accreditation they may even use to gain your trust.

      I have seen people perform extremely well in the position of authority doing amazingly impressive helpful work; and in a matter of hours later I have watched the very same individual fall out of the ability to verbally express a need and resort to abusive techniques to obtain what they needed or what they wanted to obtain.

      Abuse is not always about physically attacking someone. Abuse also comes in ways of abuse of authority, manipulation and intimidation. The intimidation abuse is even more frustrating and debilitating to the victim because the abuser will always stop at nothing in attempts to trash and lie about the victim’s explanation of events. The victim will be portrayed as a liar, and a crazy person.

      Sometimes it may be mental health issues other times simply problems with authority. Maybe just a mean bully. Weather it is how you were taught from the beginning or simply it is just how you want to act. It is wrong and needs to be stopped and called attention too.

      As a victim there are things you can do. You can place a stop all contact with the person at your local police department. I am posting these things because in my own situation these things were not clearly apparent from the beginning and when stress is very high it makes functioning and responding so difficult. When you share your situation with others it gives you great strength and support. It still however can leave you at a loss for what to do next.

      Bullies are small people. They need to use manipulation and intimidation as a way to obtain what they want. They do not know how to communicate and they do not have knowledge and respect for boundaries. There are many wonderful books out that can help explain respect for boundaries, respect for another persons’ individual personal space, (I like to call this spacial boundaries) and respect for physical boundaries such as a door, a piece of furniture, or any object.

      I find it extremely sad because these individuals can be very nice people and do very good things when they are in a positive “head space” and when they are being admired, looked up to and receiving positive reinforcement, however when normal every day activity is happening and they feel the need for attention they find themselves unable to verbally find words to clearly state what their need is. At that point they may snap into a rage of demands, demeaning attacks using belittling and nasty words of hate and accusations. They will make themselves aggressively threatening and fearful by breaking down any physical boundary between you and them and disrespecting any request for personal space (spacial boundaries). The other person is always made out to be crazy and they will always portray themselves as being completely free from any fault. Their story of the events will be completely different than the actual event with very hateful accusations toward the opposing party.

      Please if you ever come across anything similar stand up to them and make them seek help, you have to walk away because they will never accept help from you because they KNOW they are always right. Unless you bring attention to a Bully and his actions he will continue to go about his ways and hurt innocent people and himself over and over again.
      Human beings have many more likenesses than differences. Every human has vulnerabilities.
      My heart goes out to those in pain, and I truly wish that no one had to experience pain and negative situations ever. If you have or are experiencing difficulties and negative situation, and have ever felt hopeless. Please take a moment to try to look at the situation in a completely different manner.
      Step back from your individual pain and examine the situation as though it were happening to someone else. Negative emotions are universal and every living being is vulnerable to them.

      What if the uncomfortable experiences that you endure were a divine gift of understanding and compassion that we could use to help the many others who are feeling hopeless? When we use our experiences to reach out and help others, we can open our hearts and minds to become the pathway through which Divine Guidance can lead others toward hope.

      Blessings to you and all those who are in pain. Be the change that you wish to see in the world. Open your heart and allow Divine Guidance to lead.

      I truly believe that Peace and Respect for all living creation is a very attainable goal. Every person can be a teacher. When you practice respect, you are teaching respect.

      Perhaps the answer to attaining this is as the Teacher’s Prayer states. If each one of us starts with teaching just a few people, many and beautiful things, so they can one day teach a few people. As this continues on and on we can make Gratitude, Hope, Joyfulness, and love abound.

      With respect, hope, wisdom and love,  Carmela

       

       

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      Posted in Meditative Writings | Tagged abuse, abuse of authority, abusive relationships, anti-bullying, bully, Carmela Snelbaker, get help, hope, kindness, life sucks, love, peace, respect, self help
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